"Collectables that reserve you a spot in Hell"

This week marks the 7th Anniversary of the terrorist attack on The United States. While it will always be a day that is fresh in the memory of all Americans, there are already a number of people willing to cash in on the disaster. Although some comedians and filmakers have no problem making 9/11 humor possible these days, there really isn't anything funny about it, What's more, what do you call the people who search some of these odds and ends out in catalogs and on the Internet? A "History Buff" or a "Sick Son of a Bitch"? I'm writing about this because it's a rather peculiar hobby to collect these "knick-knacks" but these are products that were (thank goodness) pulled off of shelves however, a few items are still available today. I'm not by any means promoting the sale of any of these things and as a matter of fact, am not even telling you where you can find them because they are just THAT bad in taste!

• The World Trade Center Anniversary candle - I couldn't believe what I was seeing here! A replica of the twin towers made from candle wax. This was created as part of a "thanks for donating" campaign used to raise money for the families of victims killed on September 11th. As every year passes, you are supposed to light the candle and take a moment of silence to remember those who died on that die. Like a birthday candle, a floor of the building is to be burned down every year until the end where inside there is a "surprise" bonus collectable to be found when the wax melts. The BBB had received lots of complaints almost immediately about the poor judgement of the manufacturer and it was pulled off shelves.
• The Aroma Therapy 9/11 Commemorative Candle - This was another item that sold new and had a very short retail life. Can you imagine this? A black candle with a photo on front of the towers on fire! This candle promises to fill the air with "The aroma of the smoke from the fires...on that fateful day". Whoever bought one of these things during their time on sale must also enjoy killing of small animals too! If there's any possibility of relaxing at the end of the day with a candle that emits an odor of melted steel, jet fuel, and bodies burning, please let me know. Perhaps I'm missing something.
• The Two Dollar Commemorative 9/11 bill. (real legal tender) - Remember these guys? The $2 bill? I must admit, I have a number of these things stashed away from when the U.S. Treasury Department quit printing them years ago. Now, I can't admit to having any of these 9/11 bills in my safe box. When they quit making the real ones that circulated and featured the signing of the Declaration of Independence on the back side, this paper money was quickly forgotten until now. The surviving two dollar proofs from way back when were kept locked away for the future. Now, someone recently thought it would be a good idea to make a few changes on the proofs and reprint the real money that feature the WTC on 9/11. Believe it or not, our government gave these bills their seal of approval and they are considered legal tender. In other words, as is the case with all the other coins and money no longer made, if times get really that bad, you can buy gas to fill up your car or bet on the horses at the track...whatever?! What can I say? When was the last time you tried to get rid of a Susan B. Anthony dollar or the Sachagowea(?) gold dollar from a few years ago? The Post Office still loves to accept these things but not me. Getting change from a twenty dollar bill back that includes any of these old treasures is nothing more than a curse because I can never find a dummy to dump them on after me!
• The Silver 9/11 Twenty Dollar bill - Timing is everything as this collectable recognizes the 7th Anniversary of 9/11 happening this Thursday. This is not legal tender however, it is a good conversation piece the ad suggests. How much would you pay for a $20 bill ,ade of silver with imprints of images from 9/11? If you call now and take advantage of this offer it will be only $20 however, if you dilly dally around and wait until next week, the price goes back up to $39.95 so act now. Every one made comes with a certificate of authenticity and a number for collectors. Of course, don't try to spend this at the grocery store...if you get past the hard part of sqeezing it into your wallet in your back pocket, you'll be sure to get laughed out of the store at the checkout lane.
• Historic Buildings Destroyed! (gold plated, scale model replicas) You're absolutely right to think this is crazy. This was an idea based on the success of some of those advertisements you see in the Sunday newspaper for NFL collectable ornaments, train sets, etc... The whole idea is that you purchase one of these model buildings at half price, and from then on for the next year, they'll send you a different building to add to your collection each month. All the buildings in the set are modeled after architectre destroyed by natural events or people. For example, besides the WTC, you'll get to enjoy The Pentagon, Oklahoma City Bombing among others. Don't try and become a member of this club because it was shut down years ago, and besides, anyone displaying these things in their home is just crying out that they need some help!