"The future of the peanut is still in a jam"

"You put peanut butter in my petrie dish of salmonella!"..."No. You put salmonella in my peanut butter!" This can be debated until the cows come home along with the age old question of the chicken and the egg. In any event, I knew it was just a matter of time that peanuts and salmonella would get linked to Osama Bin Laden and terrorism... and there it was in a video package on CNBC earlier tonight. I guess we're still looking for this guy after all these years?! Nevermind that since 9/11 Third World Countries have gone on to enrich plutonium, create missiles to transport nuclear warheads and other creative forms of killing. Bin Laden is going back to the basics now and giving us Americans a case of "The runs" and stomach cramps! When you dig a little deeper into this story you have to wonder if "peanut terrorism" is only speculation. When I stop to think about it, Planters Peanut mascot, "Mr. Peanut" hasn't been seen in advertising since around 2001. Although his publicity photos are outdated, he's got a rather suspicious smile on his face which is strikingly similar to what he may be thinking..."I'm gonna make your kids choke to death on your next flight with Southwest Airlines!" That's how all this peanut hysteria got started in the first place. While checking in on Mr. Peanut's past, in the 1940's he was "blacklisted" for being a Communist and was shunned by Hollywood and Ad Agencies. If this anger still exists today, perhaps it's quite possible that the guy is spreading Skippy and Smuckers on whole wheat with the crust cut off (because that's how Bin Laden likes it) and poisoning all of us from a distance.

It's a shame when you consider we have GPS and a multitude of computer software to track people down and still can't find the man, or Mr. Peanut for that matter. If there's any connection between these two dummies and George Washington Carver, please keep it to yourself... I've never craved a Reese's peanut butter cup as much as now!