"The Pork Chop of The Month"

Readers: Today is the day that I introduce to you, "The Pork Chop of The Month". Each month I'll be privelaged to choose a person who best fits the description of a jackass. If you think you may have a nominee for next time, I encourage you to drop an e-mail with your pick!

"He gets screwed with a little help from his friends" ...and still hasn't learned his lesson! The first person to graciously accept the honor of "The Pork Chop of The Month" is: Sir Paul McCartney. You may think this as an unusual choice considering Paul hasn't been in the spotlight lately. True however, Paul is definitely proof positive that "nice guys finish last" almost all of the time. He's got a lot of history attached to his name and I for one, will not blemish his reputation and contribution to "Rock and Roll"... but in his personal life post-Beatles, McCartney has made poor choices and unfortunately for him, bad luck has landed in his lap for almost the past 20 years plus. Now, it's a shame that he's no longer on the list of the world's biggest bank accounts but, let's face it, he took HIMSELF off the list so, the only thing he can blame besides that is his generosity. When The Beatles sang their last songs on the famous rooftop (years later re-enacted by U2 in "Where The Streets Have No Name) in 1970, Paul wasn't too worried. He had the world by the grapefruits, was happily married to Linda and started dabbling with a new group he founded called, "Wings". That rooftop symbolized The Beatles career by suggesting they were calling it quits on a high note, while right on top. Paul enjoyed quite a long stay high up in the clouds through most of the 70's and early 1980's. That's when wife Linda died of cancer and not to mention, "Wings" parted ways, and lifelong friend John Lennon was killed. His first mistake was using Michael Jackson's hot streak of 1984 as a launching pad to return to the spotlight. After collarborating with Jackson and later Stevie Wonder, we saw the Paul who was transforming into a mellow chap all neat and clean and starting fresh. Michael Jackson took advantage of Paul's generosity when he suggested that Paul sell him his half of The Beatles song library. While the other half belonged to Yoko Ono, she was still outraged and feared that this would be opening a "Pandora's Box" of songs used for commercial purposes...something that John Lennon would have objected to in that day anyway. Eventually, advertising agencies were pounding down his door to buy the rights to songs to use in their ads and Yoko took the both men to court. While this dragged on for years before Paul took a big financial hit, it was temporarily moved aside long enough for him to earn the honor of becoming a British Knight, an honor that only the best of the best can claim. None of these ups and downs where anywhere close to what was coming next: Heather Mills.

Paul should've known better than to fall victim to the scam that the young blonde was about to pull on him from the moment she said told him she had no idea who, or what The Beatles were. "Is that some sort of a band or something?" she asked. He fell hook, line, and sinker for her dumb blonde personna and ironically, the tabloids gave Sir Paul a break during their relationship by leaving them alone. In fact, everyone was in agreement that after all that the man went through, nobody deserved a woman like her more than him. Wasn't it a surprise then when out of the blue this fairy tale romance went down in flames?! It seems that while Paul was away making records and playing Beatles tunes with orchestras around the globe, Mills was investigating Paul's net worth. Well, you know the rest... Heather's artificial leg during the divorce trial became more popular than Paul and is now worth more than him. Poor Paul it seems, welcomes everyone into his life as a dear friend so they can stick it to him in the end! Heather Mills who was in her late 20's at the time not knowing The Beatles is unbelievable. No, it's downright absurd!

This all leads up to why Paul was chosen. He's taken a direct hit to his riches at least three big times that have gone public. You think he'd choose his friends more wisely now, right? Nope. Comes word today that Paul, who has one foot in the poorhouse and the other in the grave, has put all the bad behind him and is charging ahead with a new lady at his side and there's rumors already that the two are getting married! I guess he'll never learn! Meanwhile, I keep searching for Paul online in hopes he's add me to his "Buddy List". I've got a stack of bills a mile high and they're not going away!