"Yacketty Yack...Don't talk back!"

As the end of the year approaches quickly and my "Writers Strike" has tentatively come to an agreement, it's time to look back to weeks past and vidit some of the top stories that were missed. The first thing on the agenda for this post is a focus on the people who normally report the gossip and have since become the subject of gossip themselves! Here it a recap of "Talk Show Moments You May Have Missed"

• Jay Leno gets his own "last laugh" - It's true. When Jay Leno took over the Tonight Show in 1991, NBC Execs made it clear that his replacing Johnny Carson wouldn't be a permanent thing although, in the end it seems that way. Conan O' Brien was guaranteed the spot after Leno retired. That time has come however, Leno was given an extension on his contract which will keep him at the Peacock Network for a long time to come. Not to worry though, Conan still gets the gig come May and Leno? He gets a newly created talk show that will air nightly, be named something else, but will be of the same format as the Tonight Show. What do we get? TWO Tonight Shows. Quite frankly, one is more than enough. I say, put Leno on at 3:00 in the afternoon where the majority of his audience is still awake. Who ever said Leno was funny in the first place?
• Oprah gets a guest spot on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Ty Pennington and Co. can swing around hammers like crazy and shoot nail guns quicker than Clint Eastwood an high noon. Can Oprah get fixed? Oprah went on television to admit she's losing the battle with her weight. She's tipping the scales at over 200 lbs again! She's fat and depressed and addicted to food...AGAIN. She also said she will relocate her talk show to Washington D.C. for next season. Oprah has no willpower when it comes to dining out in Chicago and pins the blame on such things as deep dish pizza, Italian beef, and Eli's Cheescake. Things ought to better for her in D.C. as she'll be dining with her good pals the Obama's frequently. Not only does the President have the power to have all three of these things delivered to Washington as he enjoys them himself but, the Top Chef at the White House has a special knack for whipping up chicken fried steak, mac and cheese, and sweet potato pie! If Stedman isn't out of the picture completely yet, he will be now.
• A Few of Their Favorite Things: It was like a scene straight out of a UAW meeting announcing plant closings when the hype over Oprah's annual "Favorite Things" show fizzled. An angry mob of women who slept on the cold cement for a few days hoping to fill their cars with Oprah's lavish giveaways were left speechless when Oprah told her audience that the current state of the economy didn't leave her feeling comfortable with showering them with expensive Christmas gifts. "instead" she said, I'm giving a gift that comes straight from my heart to yours...a gift that keeps on giving. A good book!" The gasped as she continued, "It doesn't even have to be brand new. A used book is just as good and more personal!" The women removed their ripped, torn, and moldy reading material from under their chairs and went home angry. Oprah was a cheapskate! However, down the dial on the Ellen DeGeneres show, Ellen put one over on Oprah by giving away HDTV's, video cameras, and the impossible hard to find Nintendo Wii to everyone in her audience for an ENTIRE WEEK! Oprah is a Democrat and Ellen is a lesbian.
• Rosie is THE MAN! A good debate about "Proposition 8", Donald Trump, and the cast of The View wouldn't be complete without the input of Rosie O' Donnell. For a while there, Rosie had the world by the balls however, her hate for the male species and sharp tongue has now derailed any future prospects of...well, a future. Around Thanksgiving, Rosie announced a big return to television with a new variety show. She said it would be different but, I guess,she hadn't ever heard of The Smothers Brothers, Dean Martin, Flip Wilson, Donny and Marie, and Carol Burnett. Her show struggled through it's first hour and then that was it...Kaputz. Instead of taking the defeat like a man, Rosie decided to rattle the the bones of former friend turned nemesis, Barbara Walters for the 60 minute disaster. Rosie immediately took all of her negative remarks, vulgarity and slander to her website to tell the world that Barbara Walters signed her death certificate. Rosie can sometimes act so GAY. Err, wait a minute. Sorry.

• The SNL/Weekend Update story that never made it to television last week: All was good during the rehearsals until NBC's Standards and Practices "red flagged" the fianl Weekend Update story...

Seth Meyers: "Finally tonight, the grounds crew at the White House are busy putting the finishing touches on the 2008 holiday decorations and trying to make a smooth transition for the arrival of President Elect Obama. For the first time ever, an African American version of the traditional nativity scene will be placed out front to greet visitors. When asked why only the Virgin Mary and Baby Jesus were present in the display, a White House spokesman was quick to point out that once St. Joseph and the Three Kings learned Mary was having a baby, all four men immediately left town."

Yeah, I guess that was "kinda" tacky!