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What in the hell is wrong with "Iron Mike" Ditka? What I should ask is why does Chicago actually give a crap about what Da Coach has to say? The sun has set years ago on his successful career as a player and as a Coach. Remember his stint with The Saints? A hurricane like Katrina would have been a blessing in disguise to put an end to what was a miserable season. Now with Ditka enjoying retirement here in Chicago, he spends his time on the golf course and hanging with patrons at his restaurant chomping on his stogie and overseeing the kitchen staff as they prepare a triple bypass on a plate. A big, big steak served with a baked potato loaded with sour cream and butter. Let's not forget that Mike has sampled all the dishes before they made their debut on the menu...this is what landed Iron Mike at Northwestern Memorial Hospital a few years ago. Now, guess what? Mike's blood pressure is shooting through the roof and ESPN radio may very well kill the old cuss. When asked about who he favors for this Sunday's game, he said he could care less. "I'm a Sports Analyst" he said. "It wouldn't be right for me to predict anything. All I know is, I was with The Bears and with The Saints, and neither one liked me. I'm proud to say that both teams fired me." He then made a point to put the screws to Bears management who he claims, failed to open up their wallets when he was crying for help. After his tyrade, Ditka has refused all interviews with the media. Seems as though Mike has a special place in his heart for The Saints. I don't know why...he took a bad franchise and made it worse by driving it into the ground. I wouldn't count on watching the game at his place. He's a bitter, bitter man that's full of jealousy. While he's tinkering around with Arena Football, the big boys are on their way to the Super Bowl (maybe). Yeah Mike, Chicago made you rich...too bad you only got us there once!- The things a Mother does for her children. Maybe you've heard about the radio station out in California that held a contest where hopefuls had the possibility of winning Nintendo's new Wii video game system. It was a somewhat simple task. They had to guzzle down as much water as they could without getting sick or using the restroom. The one contestant came in to the studio before work and thought this challeng was a piece of cake. Things took a turn for the worst after the woman finished over 3 gallons of water in a matter of minutes. All the hootin' and hollerin' by the five staffers came to an abrupt halt when the woman keeled over. Citing "poor judgement", management terminated the entire staff. Now, such shenanigans are popular on college campuses as a part of hazing (yes, it still takes place). Such an occurance is called "water intoxication" and like liquor, it gets you drunk first, and then kills you next. These jackasses can't understand what they did wrong! Next time, maybe they should stick to having contestants kiss a car for a few days...that is, if they find a job. Puzzling thing is, no mention if the woman's kids got their Nintendo considering their Momma died.
- How about that Lindsay Lohan? Taking a look at her top half, I'd be thrilled to call her my girlfriend for a weekend or so. Well, Miss Lohan seems to be in a race with Paris Hilton over who can have the most car accidents/DUI's. Maybe we can put Paula Abdul into the mix too! Lindsay already cracked up a couple cars. Chalk one up for Paris who simply got a DUI. Common sense is a stranger to Paris who's only other blunder was not knowing where the gas tank on her car was. As far as Lindsay goes, not yet being 21 and entering rehab for a second time isn't a good thing for the career. She thought she had the program nailed when she told "People" magazine several months ago that she's been attending AA for over a year and considered herself a success for not getting drunk seven days before the interview. I say, Geez...good luck in rehab and hope to see you naked in some bad movie on Cinemax at three in the morning!
- I knew this was coming...Jerry Springer's sidekick Steve has just signed a deal with NBC to have his own talk show. Steve leaves 14 years of loyal service to Jerry behind. Oddly enough, Steve will be sharing studio space with Jerry at NBC Tower while the studio next door once occupied by Jenny Jones remains vacant. Steve assures us that his show will be...well, different. His and every one else. I hope this won't be the start of the next wave of chit-chat. Perhaps if Jerry were to call it quits, maybe Steve would have a chance. ...No dice. Steve promises that he'll be there to help people because he's a genuinely caring person. OK, how long until we se a food fight or a naked guy in a tub of baked beans? Yucko!
