Pull out last Sunday's newspaper, a sharp pair of scissors, and get ready to clip the coupons... we're going shopping! Now, I'm willing to bet you that grocery shopping isn't on your list of favorites and believe me, I know where you're coming from BUT, it's gotta be done. Follow my example by avoiding as much as the riff-raff as possible by hitting the bricks very early in the morning. This time around, my store of choice was Jewel Food Stores. This Chicago based business is an icon in the city however, this "Mom and Pop" grocery chain lost it's charm when it was snatched up by California based Albertson's. Gone are the days when the butcher comes out from the back to get your approval of the steaks he just cut. As it is now, you can't find a soul for help of any kind!
One of the things that scares folks the most before even stepping inside is the fear of a gigantic bill when it's all over. Seems as though in recent months, everyone blames everything on gasoline prices for the high prices. In many cases, the quality and quantity of what we buy lowers while the prices inch higher. Most stores place the produce near the entrance. That's fine by me. Never mind what those "experts" say about shopping on an empty stomach, I starve myself a day or two ahead of time. Hey, because of those high gasoline prices, I'm going to take advantage at the store and the fruits and vegetables are the place to start. Afterall, it's not your fault gas is $5 a gallon. Why should all of us have to get punished. I usually start off with making a fruit salad or regulat garden salad. Why do you think they have Marie's salad dressing and croutons near the vegetables? Make a salad right there. Open up a jar of dressing and pour it on thick. Carry a pocket knife at all times to do some chopping, mincing and slicing. If someone stops you, tell them that as a consumer, YOU have the right to sample before you buy. While you have an employee stopped, ask him what the hell a pomegranade is... Why is this stuff so popular and what is it, a fruit or vegetable. A few years ago it was kiwi, then it was mango, and now this! It's everywhere you look and in juices, soda, deserts, whatever you can think of. It's supposed to prevent cancer so they say but, wait until next year when they say it causes cancer! One of my problems in addition to high prices is the wasted shelf space that devotes an entire aisle to the same product, nut with a different brand name. Aisle 10 is stacked to the ceiling with bottled water. Don't tell me you can actually taste the difference between Dasani and Aquafina. If you say you can, you deserve a slap. The same goes for the pet food aisle..."my doggie can't eat that Purina stuff. He doesn't like it. I can only buy Alpo." Tell you what, your dog can't talk and sure as hell can't complain. When he's hungry he'll eat no matter if it's Purina or your dirty socks. How about the paper products? Does your ass really know the difference between Charmin and Cottonelle? Does your spilled milk care if it's Brawny or Scott brand towels to clean up the mess? This one really gets my goat: Air fresheners. Both sides of one aisle are filled with Glade and Wizard products in a variety of scents and different ways to use them. Years ago there were only two brands and they came in a spray can or in the shape of a tree for your car. Now? Its cans, candles, plug-ins, sprays, mists, and on and on. Not necessary is it? Buy a big spray bottle of Febreeze and you'll be set for life. The store is organized the way it is for a reason. It's because it's laid out like you eat with salad at the front and ice cream at the end. Which by the way, don't forget to help yourself to a good humor bar at the end. Fill your stomach up good before you approach the checkout lane. In my case, what could have been a bill well over $100 ended up $12.89 because I used coupons and most of all, common sense!
