"Will that be paper, or plastic?" As we check in on what our two candidates for President have been up to, let's just say that John McCain has had a rough week. The Senator was seemingly left behind by all the media here in the U.S. whil Obama took his show to the road. The two, with all their differences aside, had agreed to visit Berlin. While McCain made the trip to Berlin, PA, Obama opted for the real deal in Berlin, Germany. You may not be an expert in politics however, as you probably know, there's a rule in television that mandates equal time for both political parties to present their views. Well, someone dropped the ball here and forgot to remind all the major news networks that McCain lost his boarding pass and got "lost" like a Gucci suitcase in an airport luggage rack. Turning lemons into lemonade, McCain wiggled his way through the busy streets of the Pennslyvania town to greet the common folk and do a little grocery shopping at the local A&P. "Americans aren't just getting taken to the cleaners at the gas station" he says, "it's no picnic shopping for the essentials either." The crowd in the store agreed as McCain was quick to point out the price decrease of approximately three cents a gallon for gas and suggested "President Bush deserves all the credit for the price drop!" Keep in mind that if you can find two extra pennies in your pocket, add that to the three cents you saved and perhaps you can stick that nickel in a gumball machine! McCain walked up and down the aisles with shoppers spreading his good cheer throughout his visit by sneaking some of his favorites like Mott's applesauce and Honey Nut Clusters of Oats into unsuspecting customers shopping carts and pulling the old, "I left my wallet in my other pants pocket" routine at the checkout counter. He did accomplish one thing however, and that was he got to meet people from other parts of the world all under one roof without going on a plane ride!
"Sorry Senator Obama... the peanuts are now $4.00 a bag and a can of Coke Classic is $3.00!" Yes, there was a time when a trip to the other side of the world on a big airline would guarantee you'd at least feast like a king with prime rib, baked potato and a tall glass of wine with baked Alaska for dessert. Obama found out the hard way that he was only wearing the President of the United States' shoes just to see how they fit and not for keeps...yet. From the Middle Eadt to Europe, Obama has been making all the important stops and meeting all the important people along the way. The people in Israel loved him despite the fact that he criticized that Jeruselum wasn't exactly how it is portrayed in The Bible. He also seemed a little confused with some more important milestones in 20th Century history while in Berlin after addressing a large crowd that was lured to see him by American propiganda promising Madonna would be there. "It is time for us to tear down this wall in Berlin!" he shouted out. Obviously forgetting that President Reagan said the same thing back in the 1980's. Nobody in the packed crowd blinked twice.
"Nothing on Taco Bell's value menu is Fifty Cents or less...except for the hot sauce" Now here's a nifty idea: Seems as though the promotions and advertising people working for Taco Bell are a day late and a dollar short when it comes to new ideas. The little doggie was killed off years ago from the commercials at the prime of the little guy's career, and then it's been sownhill from there ever since. By the way, the dog was never chpped up into hamburger meat for the Chalupa...he's living in seclusion somewhere in America reaping the benefits of his hard work. And along comes Detroit's Fifty Cents to the rescue. The famous rapper who incidentally, is most famous for being the target of "drive-bys" on the street is already bowing down to "the man" for the opportunity to pitch Vitamin Water. Yeah, Fifty Cent quenching his thirst with water is about as honest as Amy Whitehouse staying in detox for more than thirty minutes. Taco Bell made him an offer that he couldn't refuse: to promote their value menu for just one day, the gangsta rapper would change his name to 79, 89, or 99 Cent. Clever eh? He'd get paid a bunch of money for the silly ad and have to live with a silly name like that for a WHOLE day! As if his name isn't silly enough already! "It's not appropriate for my client's good name" his attorney wrote to Taco Bell execs, and the offer was quickly rejected. Once Taco Bell gave up asking for his permission, plans moved ahead to go with the promotion regardless of Fifty Cents' participation or not. Now the thug is biting back at The Bell and nipping them right where it hurts, in the wallet! It's good to know that even after all his rhymes about pimpin', dopin', and stealin' that he still does have some scruples left and his name escapes intact without a scratch.
