- We're making a big baseball slide into the new season of TSP Worldwide. A lot of crap has happened since the last posting but, you guessed it, some things never change. It seems as though substance abuse and alcohol are targeting all your favorites. Nothing new about Lindsay Lohan. Out of rehab and is said to be getting close to her sponsor in the 12 step program. ...Nevermind the fact that "the program" advises folks to hold back on new relationships for at least a year. ANYWAY, let's hit it.
I don't know if the famous illusionist named David Copperfield enjoys a glass of Brandy and a cigar after a successful show, but it's obvious that this guy gets the women. After making the Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building and the Space Shuttle vanish, I'm guessing that even the long arm of Copperfield can't reach into his bag of tricks to make the sexual assault charges go away. Let's be honest here...Penn and Teller busted your balls years ago in Vegas. While Network News says you "allegedly" got together a woman, I advise you to stick with Chinese handcuffs and keep the wand undercover!
What a SHOCKER it was to hear about John Goodman's visit to rehab for what was "A battle that took place over many years" according to John. Hmmm. We don't know what ails the big guy. Drugs? Nope. Methinks Goodman stuck to a liquid diet of booze. This really comes as no surprise to his followers. How would you like to work on a popular sitcom with Roseanne Barr who later brings in her dim-witted husband with no television experience to boss you around? Goodman struggled to the series finish. The last few episodes saw a bloated Goodman sweating like a pig. This can also be seen in his supporting roles in "Raising Arizona" and "The Big Lebowski". In the end, Goodman wiggled his way into the Blues Brothers and managed to throw a gutter ball and derail the Blues Brothers future with a forgetable performance in "Blues Brothers 2000". Dry out John!
Britney Spears has been a hot topic for much of 2007. Is she a drunk? A druggie? Maybe just a little nuts?! The family intervened with no luck. She's ready to crash and burn, refuses help, refuses rehab, and enjoys toying with those following her for a photo op. Sure, she lost custody of her kids and is putting up a helluva fight to get them back. She was a half an hour late showing up for her court date last week and drove over a photographer's foot while trying to flee the scene. The drugs and depression and whatever the hell else she has, has turned this blonde superstar into a KFC, McDonald's, and Burger King junkie. Britney loves to parade around onstage half naked... Put some clothes on silly girl. I'm tired of looking at your belly and big ass. Also last week, Britney enjoyed a lip implant at a Beverly Hills clinic. Shaved head, tattoos, piercing, and plastic surgery? What's next? I'm almost afraid to ask.
Youtube wasn't too nice to David Hasselhoff after posting the drunk former "Baywatch" star slithering across his kitchen floor shirtless, and trying to dine on a Wendy's hamburger. His daughter taped his antics which later surfaced on the Web. Feeling ashamed, Hasselhoff went on television to proclaim his sobriety. The German popstar assured everyone that this was a time to forget about the past and focus on the future. Several weeks later, David was refused a boarding pass for a flight headed to London because flight attendants suspected Hasselhoff was intoxicated. A press release followed days later from David saying he's returning to rehab "for the final time". OK.
Finally, Richie Sambora of Bon Jovi fame lost his wife, Heather Locklear over a catfight with excercise guru Denise Richards. A long delay in recording led to a stint in rehab for Sambora. Upon release of their new album and concert tour, Richie exited rehab and was ready to go... That was until a guest appearance on "Saturday Night Live" a few weeks ago where John Bon Jovi guest hosted and during the opening monologue called upon Sambora who was seated in the audience. Richie had only three words to read off the teleprompter and by gum, he screwed up. The slurring and laughing were a dead giveaway.
