The Brotherhood of The Traveling Briefs... Playtime is over and now it's time for some serious work to be done! 2008 hasn't been a good year for movies unless your film has "Batman" in the title. Let's face it, everything else has been released with a lot of fanfare only to become MIA from theaters a week later! Because of this, being able to label a flick soley on the fact that it "stinks" is impossible however, considering you can pay $12.00 to enjoy an empty movie theater for 90 minutes by yourself, here's one movie that I will talk about: The Sisterhood of The traveling Pants. While you need not worry about bumping into me at your local Cineplex to see this "gem", the story itself is a good one. I will admit, how they managed to pull off a sequel is beyond me! Here you supposedly have a small circle of girlfriends all in their teens who are like family in the first place. Throw a pair of jeans into the mix and let it make the rounds going from girl to girl. Pretty soon, what you have is a "diary" or a good head start for a movie about how these pants changed their lives as they make that sometimes bumpy transition into "Women". In other words..."B-O-R-I-N-G"!!! Putting "Batman" to the side, I knew this film was in trouble from the get go when they cast a woman in her 20's who plays the lead role in "Ugly Betty" as yet another teenager in this role. Couldn't get a real teenage girl to play the part? Obviously they didn't give Miley Cyrus a call.
Well, my thinking was to take another glance at the script and decide if such a thing can actually happen in real life. I'm not giving any credit to Levi, Lee, or any other manufacturer of denim for my story... No, as a matter of fact, all my kudos goes directly to Fruit of the Loom/ You know, the company that turned boys into men with their timeless briefs. It doesn't matter if they're "tidy whitey" or colored, or even if they have a overstretched elastic band. These things keep your most treasured jewels safe and secure. Wouldn't it be great if an old pair of underwear stains and all, could unweave a story all it's own? The plan has sprung into action my friends and I'll be checking in frequently to see where the pair of dirty underwear I deposited into the Salvation Army Clothing Drop Box will turn up next. The good thing about "the Looms" is that one pair can survive several generations of owners, each one having their own story about what the briefs did for them. Wouldn't it be great to trace my pair back to the 1800's when President Abe Lincoln put on a brand new pair right before he signed The Emancipation Proclamation? How about when Dillinger wore them to hold up his last bank or Buzz Aldrin wore them on his trip to the moon? Women fail to realize that men have always passed their shorts down from person to person many times without the new owner not even realizing it. Such an event happened to me as a boy when a stray pair of briefs ended up in my underwear drawer. They were cleverly mixed in with the others as if I didn't notice! It was around this time that I realizzed even underwear has the ability to become a "hand me down" so long as it's "kept in the family". Sure, you can't catch a disease from your own flesh and blood, can you? You're right. It is disgusting however, I made sure to attach a 3x5 index card to the pair I recently deposited so the new owner will know what to do to keep the story going. Just like releasing a balloon into a brisk wind, I expect my underwear to circle the globe with the lucky guy writing me back from Beijing to say he got my underwear, and read the card, and a willingness to extend a hand in friendship. Isn't that what it's all about?!
