"To Russia With Love..."

"Dear Russkies: If you really want Georgia that bad, you can take ours!" George W. Bush may have started to pack away all his momento's from the past eight years, but he's still able to find time to "shake the tree" one last time before leaving Washington. As if an unfinished war in Iraq isn't enough as it is, the President has also left the economy in ruins and on the verge of cannibalism in order to survive. In the midst of all of this mess, Bush has also managed to act like a big police dog making sure Iran, Israel, and Russia all behave nice and get along. Things however, may be quieting down in the Republic of Georgia where Russia has agreed for the time being to back off any attempts to regain control of the Country. So it seems, the citizens in that part of the world are safe for now but, maybe not. Hey, if Russia wants "Georgia" so bad that they were going to start another war. Russkies, put your guns down and gather up all your tanks, planes, and missiles and go home! If you want THAT bad, take ours. We don't need it anyway!

Consider the United States to be like MTV's "The Real Life". All 50 of us friends, each unique, all live under one roof. We are all set in our own ways and get along with some better than others and occasionally, there's one of those "Puck's" that come along to give everyone in the house hell. Just like the roomies do on television, one day it's time to sit down and have a meeting while Georgia is busy doing something else. As everyone sits around and talks about all the good things and all of the bad behind Georgia's back, we finally have to ask Georgia, "What have you done for us lately?" We take a vote and kick the rabble rouser out the door. This is what we need to do. Think about this: Almost every big event in recent history has either started, ended, or passed through Georgia. It's kind of like the "Ellis Island" for the geographically impaired. It's true that much of what we read in the history books about Georgia has left a lifelong impact on all of us one way or another however, at the risk of starting World War III, Russia can just take it! I don't know about the rest of America but, life will still go on for me without some of Georgia's treasures of the 20th Century. The sun WILL come up tomorrow forme if Atlanta's Jeff Foxworthy is missing from the picture. He's proven that any knucklehead can do comedy with his "Redneck" humor, and anyone can host a game show like "Are you smarter than a fifth grader?". His cheesy mustache is more out of place than the new lead singer of Journey. If he were gone tomorrow, I wouldn't be looking for him on the side of a milk carton anytime soon. Another thing I can do without is peaches. Georgia IS the Peachtree State but, when you eat peaches, there's always something left over: the pits! That's something I can live without. How about "America's Team" the Atlanta Braves? Who says? The so-so baseball franchise got the moniker from former media mogul, Ted Turner who raised the team out of the ashes in the 1970's by giving a television deal on a new concept in cable tv: A Superstation. Not only could you have basic cable... now, you can have Superstation TBS and Brave's baseball anywhere you went. Even in a big baseball town like Chicago with it's two teams. Maybe this WAS America's team for a while, but who besides fans in Atlanta, can honestly say they'll forever follow the ups and downs of The Braves? Ted Turner liked the team so much and was so willing to embrace it that he eventually bought it... and sold it. Jane Fonda was more interested in using the money to further extend the property line of their Montana cattle ranch. In the end, Atlanta's wife and hometown saw through him and left him out in the cold. So, we wouldn't miss Georgia from the map. What's 49 states? One less than 50 and that's about it. Please tell Mr. Bush to save a spot on his U-Haul for "The Bulldog State".