"Some times the leftovers are better the next day"

Here's some things that just didn't make the cut this week but found a new home here this weekend. First of all, that poor S.O.B. Bill Gates is crying into his $100 bills over all the hoopla over Apple's new iPhone. Not everyone is pleased with the new phone...it does everything you can think of. For the $600 price tag, that thing ought to come with a prostitute too...males and females both! Anyway, crowds winding around stores for three or four days nearly cased Gates a nervous breakdown. It was reported that at 1:30 AM on Saturday, Bill was stopped by a Washington State trooper. Not for drugs, alcohol, or a broken headlight. He was in fact talking on his cellphone which is illegal in the Seattle area to do while driving. To make matters worse, Gates was calling Microsoft Tech Patrol for help with some snags while using Windows Vista on his pc. One other thing: He was making the call using an iPhone...Go figure?!

Are The Transformers really money in the bank in 2007...Corporations seem to think so. Borrowing an idea from NASCAR racing, all sorts of sponsors are in line to put their name with the name of the movie. I've heard cast members go on television to hype this and they go way over the top saying, "this is the BEST movie ever." and "Roll up all six Star Wars movies into one, and it still won't come close!" Yeah, OK. This is where I put in my two cents and say, let's not put the cart before the horse. There's a list of movies that have tanked after much less hyp than this. Hmmm...How about "Shrek The Third"? Exactly. All these people want their name on a poster or commercial and pony up a lot of bucks. By Christmas, this movie won't still be showing at the Cineplex...it will have already been on DVD since the beginning of August. These places blame all their price hikes on fuel and everything else. There's no need to pay a million dollars for you to tie-in a promotion with a movie. We all know who you are! "Fuel"? My rootie pahtootie. If all these sponsors are dropped, some of your shopping worries would be over because prices would drop.

Finally, here's something you may or may not want to hear, but at least give it a shot. Bananas are returning as the filling for Hostess Twinkies to replace, or possibly sit side by side with the creme filled one at the end of your grocery aisle. When the sponge cake first made it's debut before World War II, the creamy filling was in fact banana. Because importing and exporting stopped during that time, bananas were hard to come by and cream was chosen as the replacement. Now, even though the people at Hostess surely know that World War II ended 60 years ago, it took them that long to realize that bananas are readily available in 2007. Meanwhile, the idiots over there have discontinued my favorite: A Chocodile, a twinkie dunked in chocolate because they wanted to go back to bananas...nothing some Prozac couldn't fix.

"A Tribute to Diana": Red Tape, Tight Security, and Mass Confusion!

(AP) -LONDON- That's right gang. After leaving Chicago nearly two weeks ago and landing safely hours later in London, we were finally allowed to exit the aircraft about two hours ago due to security. One thing we all discovered is that after two weeks of not being able to get out of your seat other than the toilet, the whole plane starts to smell like ass and ampits. I'm not complaining...such a thing is necessary after the car bombing incidents this past week. As they say, or William and Harry say, "The show must go on". Now, this Birthday tribute to the late Princess Diana has been in the works for two years by the pair of Prince's who were counting on the whole world to show up. Luckily, for those who chose not to make it, VH-1 offers this daylong event for free today. I'm OK with the fact that I can't make it to the concert in person. Matter of fact, I won't even watch in on cable. There's going to be a lot of monkey business going on over there that will make viewers of the concert scratch their heads. Prince Charles told his two boys that wants nothing to do with the event, and that even includes him attending. Either he's got issues or his new wife won't let him go...who knows? Secondly, if terrorist threats overshadow the concert itself, Prince William is prepared to stay home and watch it on closed circuit television while a lookalike gets swung into place. Former N'Syncer and current homosexual Lance Bass has been brushing up on his British accent and is supposedly just waiting for the phone in his London Hotel room to ring. There's still one person left should something not work out well: The secret weapon is former name, symbol and currently back to name, Prince. Tickets were printed that say Prince will be there and that's it. It may be any one of the three. Finally, fans may once again be misleading if people go there to see Fergie. In another gray area on the ticket, there's no mention of Fergie the Black Eyed Pea leaving speculation open that what you'll see will actually be Sarah Ferguson, the original Fergie who now hawks Weight Watchers and credits them for her big weight loss. Duran Duran is the headliner for the show and they plan on doing material from their most recent release, "Arena" from 1984 which includes "Union of the Snake". For up to the minute coverage, don't look here...turn on CNN or VH-1. I've got better things to do today.