"No steak knife for O.J.'s dinner in Kentucky" The night before last Saturday's Kentucky Derby, O.J. Simpson rolled into a Kentucky steakhouse with his entourage and parked his behind at a table. Before he even opened up the menu to take a look, the owner came to the table and asked him to leave. O.J. questioned why and the owner explained that he is bad for business. He sent the whole party down the street to a Jack in the Box. Before walking out the door, O.J. picked up a steak knife and held it to the owners throat promising him that he'll be back to finish the job later. The wholegot even more complex when O.J. accused the owner of not serving him because he's black. No O.J., the fact of the matter is perhaps the owner didn't want a killer in the restaurant, When he left the place, the crowd stood up and applauded his exit.
"Cracker Barrel now asks customers if they want razor blades on the hamburger or on the side" It used to be pranksters on Halloween that would sabotage children's candy with pins, needles, and razor blades. The adults are now the target. A rusty razor blade is no big deal. In fact, the iron oxide gives it a special flavor. Fearing the worst, Cracker Barrel has taken everything with ground beef off the menu. The one thing people want while on the Interstate and looking for a place to eat, is a big, juicy, hamburger. I smell a rat here. Matter of fact, there probably are rats in their hamburgers. Cracker Barrel should stick to selling the goofy knick-knacks and salt and pepper shakers and leave the hamburgers to McDonald's.
"Billy Ray's singing and dancing are a swing and a miss" Poor Billy Ray Cyrus. The one hit wonder was hoping for a miracle when he signed up for Dancing With The Stars. Even his Curt Cobain haircut couldn't save him. I'll give credit where credit's due. Billy Ray made it farther than a lot of the other "has beens". Billy Ray, sans the mullet was proof that it's possible for a person to have two left feet, Methinks Billy Ray has thrown in the towel. After realizing his career is on a slippery slope, he now spends his time on late night talk shows shamelessly plugging his daughter's Disney show Hannah Montana. Truth be told, this is exactly the same launching pad that Britney Spears, Christine Aguilera and Hilary Duff used to put their names on the map. Disney isn't all rainbows and unicorns, Cape Canaveral has the space shuttle however, in Orlando, the launch pad revolves around sex. At 14 years old, Billy Ray should quit showbusiness and keep his daughter on a leash!
"This is a big welcome back to a favorite worm". After pulling a disappearing act for a few years, Slimey the worm returned to Sesame Street to visit his old pal Oscar the Grouch. Some people may stomp their foot on him, dip him in chocolate, or even deep fry him. Slimey has stood the test of time and returns for another generation to enjoy, The other day I observed Slimey playing checkers with some neighborhood friends. Ooh so cute! All I want to know is, how is a worm able to play checkers with no hands? You can keep your Elmo and Abbey Cadabbey, Slimey is a force to be reckoned with. All we need is "Tickle me Slimey" for Christmas. God bless him.
