"Mr. Man" chatted with Oprah, "Mr. Man's" coat was featured on Style Network, and I got the next best thing, a bit of Oprah's snot stain who managed to speak with me briefly today about moving from a quiet life to an "S List" Celebrity. Like Madonna and Cher, "Stanley" prefers to be known simply by his first name.
The Squealing Pig: How do you feel about being tossed into the spotlight?
Stanley: It's a bit of a shock really. I've been hanging around in Oprah's nasal passages for a while now. I was always hoping to make a big splash when I came out...I guess I did
TSP: Who was the guy in front of Oprah and what's your relationship with him?
S
tan: Relationship??? You do realize I'm just a snot (laughs)! Seriously, I don't know the man. I was peeking through Oprah's nostril all evening and it seemed like the right moment to make myself known.TSP: How was the coat?
Stan: Very comfortable. Soft and warm. After hanging out there an entire night, I came to the conclusion that it was about a 50/50 blend of cotton and polyester.
TSP: How was the big rally on election night?
Stan: Historic! Obama is such a great speaker and he's gonna be a good President.
TSP: Have you had a chance to meet him?
Stan: Gosh no! A large amount of family were able to see him up close at previous events. Unfortunately, they were wiped out before I came along. It was a bacterial germocide. Most of my family were targets from an over the counter cold medicine. They did leave behind clues though. Unfortunately, I can't go back home ever again.
TSP: Any future plans?
Stan: I don't know. I'm going through an identity crisis and searching for my roots. Ever since Oprah began her TV show years ago, my family has been picked off one by one. I'm working out an agreement with Kleenex and will be doing a Kleenex signing all next week in Chicago area bathrooms.
TSP: Thanks Stan, and God Bless You!
Stan: Oh... I get it. Funny!
