When it comes to new products, it's often said that kids make the best critics. 2009 begins with quite a few new toys and food products. What I decided to do was quite simply, sit my 3 year old, Arianna down and use her as the measuring stick to determine what things will be a success or a flop. While this is by no means a representation of all pre-schoolers, the one conclusion I can make is that when it comes to your child being fussy at the dinner table, "Chef Boy R Dee's" attempt to sneak vegetables into a can of "Spaghettio's" didn't fool my daughter...she turned it down!
- "25 years later, we're still left puzzled and it ain't over yet!" - Remember that Ruskie named, "Rubik"? He invented that silly cube with all the colors that took the world by storm in the 1980's. If you had the "smartz" and thought math was "fun", between popping pimples and combing your mullet you may have lined up all the colored squares on every
side. As soon as the Chinese kids were able to solve it within 10 seconds, Rubik gave us the more difficult "Revenge" as well as the "Pyramid". In a press release from earlier this week, "Rubik" came up with a new puzzle set to debut in August. The description of "Rubik's Sphere" suggests this is one puzzle that may never be solved. I had these games in a junk drawer. They were virtually untouched for years until Arianna found them. While these things keep her busy for ten minutes or so, she's wise to the fact that when all else fails, take the damn thing apart and put it back together with all the colors in the right place. Nobody will know and your kid is all groomed and eager to accept the bragging rights. Arianna gives this toy two stars... Never mind the puzzle and problem solving. It is a ball, minus the bounce of "a "Wham-O". - "Gensing and Juice" - While there's no excitement in grocery shopping when you're alone, some
times you have to let the child tag along. The S.O.B.'s stocking the shelves may do their part to strategically place anything with sugar within a "kid's eye view", one aisle that always gets Arianna's attention is the one with the juices and soda. I'll sometimes toss a few cans of Mountain Dew's energy drink "Amp" in the cart. The last thing I would expect to see is a similar product geared towards kids however, this is the latest thing. I'd be willing to bet that there is a room full of people associated with "New Product Development" at Kraft foods who thought this would be a good idea. Chances are, these folks have no children and this is their idea of a practical joke. The last thing Arianna needs is flavored sugar water in a drink box disguised as a "vitamin". Despite all the fancy labeling and colors, I used every trick in the book to drag her to the dairy aisle for milk. - "Se Habla Espan No No" - "Homeland Security" in the post 9/11 days is said to be improved however, here's proof that someone fell asleep at the switch: Her name is, "Dora" and despite the fact that millions of parents are putting American dollars into her college fund, she still refuses to make herself a U.S. Citizen. Dora and her friends and family have taught our kids how to locate Buenes Ares on a map for ye
ars... now she teaches our kids how to count to 10 in Spanish before they can count in English. If I'm to attempt a conversation with my daughter I have to pull out my Spanish translator and that's a shame! Aside from that, throughout her lifetime Dora hasn't aged a year... Kind of like "The Simpsons". Remember when baby Maggie uttered a word 20 years ago? She hasn't made another peep since then. The folks behind Dora's creation have recently decided to add a few years onto her age and perhaps nobody will notice that she is now a "tween". As if being an "illegal alien" wasn't enough, she will now have to deal with everyday common "tween" problems like puberty, pregnancy, and pimples. The last thing I'm about to do is explain who "Tammy the Tampon" is to my child! That's why the new Dora is off limits to my daughter. Besides that, I think Dora's Visa has expired!
