"Bob, Jason, and Brett: The happy trio"

• "Yes we can! -Just as soon as I finish my cup of coffee and sweet roll" In other words, whatever you do, don't ever rush a union worker! Legendary computer generated construction worker, "Bob the Builder" swung through Chicago this week to promote his stage show for the whippersnappers. As soon as Bob got off the plane at O'Hare Airport, the poor "Son of a Bitch" that was stuck wearing the hot costume began an afternoon tour of a "meet and greet" session with fellow construction workers. As the men in flannel shirts, hard hats, and black lunch pails stopped to pose for a picture with the PBS icon, it quickly became obvious that Bob is indeed a "team player" when it comes to enjoying all the perks of being a union member. Before picking up a hammer to lend a hand, the first order of business was locating the nearest Dunkin Donuts. Bob used his better judgement when being confronted by local television reporters about his Dad who by the way, was one of the original ironworkers responsible for the shoddy workmanship in constructing the World Trade Center in the late 1960's. Never trust an anvil with the words, "Acme" on the side. Bob's stageshow may be the baragin of the week for the kids, but parents may choose to stick with "The Blue Man Group" instead.
• "Deja Vu all over again and still an unlucky number - Hollywood has gotten lazy lately when it comes to making movies. If you have a lame script, a pile of cash and just another "Tom, Dick or Harry", you can do virtually anything. Let's be honest here...how many people have spent nearly the last 30 years longing for an update to the original "Friday the 13th"? I guess the one person in particular to lose sleep over this was the one and only Rob Zombie, the rocker that resembles Satan's long lost brother. Rob pulled all his fortunes together a few years back to buy the rights to almost every cheezy horror flick ever made in hopes to add a "21st Century twist" to these old "classics". Remakes of old favorites don't always work ou too well. Take Rob's creative liberty displayed in the remake of , "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" from a few years back! I hate to clump these together however, no matter if it's a cheap scary movie or a big budget masterpiece like "Star Wars", a remake only does one thing: dissapoint. Looking back on the cheap special effects and frightning scenarios of those wacky teens staying at "Camp Crystal Lake", it's obvious that the special effects and makeup were included nothing more than Karo syrup and red food coloring on someone's Kroger list. The original is so corny that it should never be duplicated. This may be the next generation of horror to follow "Psycho" however, after the 25th and 26th sequels where Jason meets Freddy Krueger and The Predator, It's time for Rob Zombie to put this tale to rest. Watch as this flick appears on Netflix just before Easter!
• "Will he or won't he?" One thing about Bret Favre is that when it comes to being undecided, he's always constant. Now, please do us all a favor and go away this time for good. Favre still resembles that bad penny that keeps turning up in your pocket despite all attempts to pass it off on some unsuspecting sucker. Everytime this guy suggests the possibility of retiring, John Madden comes along and lays on his schmooze about what a loss the sport of football would be without him. Madden's passion for Favre is as creepy as a dirty priest stalking an alter boy. We know that Favre's final stop will be in the Football Hall of Fame and yadda, yadda, yadda. The game will go on long after Favre is. Favre is turning this past season with New York into a publicity stunt and he's bitter over the fact that he couldn't push the Jets into a Super Bowl. Do we need to go through this again? Bret returns home to Wisconsin to drive the John Deere around the property a few times and due to boredom, goes on a wild goose chase for a new job? Someone tell Lovie Smith not to get any crazy ideas. The Cubs and Sox are already the final resting spots for retirees. Please Bret, we're not jackasses so, if you want to quit, let's just do it!