Odds and Ends

"Hey Lady!!! I've gotta gun type thing here in my hands and maybe I'll shoot actually!" Jerry Lewis came "thisclose" to being arrested today at the Las Vegas airport for gun posession. This isn't an actual photo of Mr. Lewis, nor is it a shot of the Las

Vegas airport. A matter of fact, it's not even the correct gun. The truth is, the comedian/ host of the annual MDA telethon is already fine tuning his big Labor Day extravaganza when he simply forgot he had a weapon in his suitcase while passing through security at the airport. A silly mistake that could happen to anyone, right? Ever since making the film The King of Comedy in 1980 with DeNiro and Scorsese. (a movie in which Jerry Lewis gets stalked by a young comedian) Mr. Lewis has been a little

bit on edge. Now, anyone else would be drawing hash marks in chalk in a jail cell right now however, when you're a big shot like Jerry you merely get a slap on the wrist, sign an autograph, and pose for a picture. Good thing the gun was discovered now before good pal Ed McMahon joins him in late August on TV. The poor man has enough trouble already.

Erin Go Broke? YES! Bennigan's files Chapter 7. In yet another sign of our troubled times, Everyone's "Famous corner bar and grill" surprised lunchtime crowds that approached the eatery by displaying "out of business" signs on the front doors today. Let's be honest... contrary to what they say, the restaurant never was a diamond in the rough. The menu is a Xerox copy of Applebee's, Chili's and TGI Fridays. Oh yeah, it had an Irish atmosphere too however, ironically never was the place to be on St. Patty's Day. Management and other employees all the way down the list were called at 3 AM and told the bad news that their workplace was closed and that they wouldn't receive a paycheck for the last few weeks either. Keeping with the Irish spirit, many employees got dressed and headed out the door in the middle of the night to get drunk. Now, you might ask why I mention this latest tragedy... let's see what impact this has on our economy primarily, on Michigan Avenue in Chicago where the chains highest grossing bar and grill would regularly have a line out the door at noon. ...a line made up mostly of thirsty runners from the nearby Chicago Board of Trade. Cotton mouth indeed.

Please don't lick that cheese residue off your fingers That is, unless you're a Heathon. In the always bizzaro world of eBay auctions, add another item to the list of "things you can't live without"... a six pack of Natural Light, a joint, and the munchies was all it took to convince one woman that her bag of Cheeto's was a sign from God. Look close at the photo of the Cheeto and see the image of Jesus. Television stations picked up this story to insert as a "kicker" to the end of the nightly news however, this story shouldn't just be brushed off. Like much of the unexplained, observers tend to draw their own conclusions of what they see from deep within. Some people see Jesus on a grilled cheese sandwich while others see him at church on Sunday. If there was anything to be learned before the woman stuck the Cheeto in her mouth, it was that although the Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways, he's probably not holding out hope that any normal person will see him on a puffed corn snack with artificial cheese flavoring and lots of chemicals that you can't pronounce. This lady got the message though. She put the Cheeto to the side and was so moved by it that she refused to sell it or put it on public display. That is, until the Las Vegas casino that has the tree and grilled cheese in their collection and on display phoned. Now the lady is casting religion aside putting a high price on this morsel. The irony here is that yes, everyone does have a price, money is the root of all evil, and the devil himself works for eBay. At last glance, the current bid was $20. Amen.