OK peeps, here's the deal: A PC virus knocked me out at a time I needed this outlet the most and has left me with a bitter taste in my mouth (Hey, God only knows what was going on in Anna Nicole's mouth before her untimely demise). Let me say this...NEVER at any point in history was it cool for anyone to be under the influence of anything while in the public eye. Are we STUPID, or what? Jiminey Pete's, I didn't know we put that chick in office to tell the rest of the world that everyone in America rolls out of bed in the morning and smokes weed, pops pills, and washes it all down with Slim-Fast. You didn't even have to spin her around once or twice blindfolded to get this broad all f***ed up because she was all f****ed up in the first place.
A QUEEN FOR A DAY OR ETERNITY?! While Anna Nicole wastes away in her fancy casket in the Bahamas, TV reporters make sure to pound in our head that Anna's life mirrored Marilyn Monroes. OK, maybe so depending on what she weighed at the moment. Maybe she had the hair and the poses squared away however, Anna didn't sleep with Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin, Peter Lawford, or President John F. Kennedy. Hell, the rumor is, she had 'em all at the same time and had so much fun that she popped out Sammy's glass eye! Anna had two Howard Sterns after her as well as Ozzy Osbourne. See the difference?
RUMORS? Whenever some sap in the headlines dies, the first thing the tabloids do is "ghost chase" a story that doesn't exist. Here it is according to a compilation of reports..."Allegedly" due to all the nonsense over who the Daddy of Anna's baby is, it is said that Anna's body had been cut at the mid-section prior to her burial, and the remaining portion of the body from the waist down was placed in a deep freezer at an L.A. hospital where once assembled together, all men who claim they are the Father of her child will be asked to try on what's left "on for size". An unidentified Doctor explained, "They slip it in there and it's like trying on a shoe. If it doesn't fit, all I can do is ask who's next in line...kinda like Cinderella". Ooh yeah, one side of Walt Disney that nobody got to see.
