Pete the mailman
Change is in the air as 2009 has begun and as this marks the return of this blog, I'd like to take a few moments of your time to reflect on the many events that have taken place between Christmas and today. Indeed, it has been a month of exciting things (for most of us, anyway). First of all, I would be foolish not to mention the unfortunate bad timing of my Christmas gift to my mailman, Pete. Pete had been delivering mail for over a decade however, at the end of Summer he started making mistakes on his route. Around Thanksgiving, Pete had vanished completely and was replaced by a part-timer at the post office. I never asked any questions as to what happened to Pete and then a few days before Christmas I noticed he was back at work and delivering mail again. I generally like to give Pete a little something at Christmas to know how much I appreciate him however, this year instead of the usual monetary gift, I gave him a bottle of Scotch and he was delighted. Unfortunately, when Pete was again off his route the following day, I discovered by accident that Pete's first round of being M.I.A. had been caused by his being in rehab. He was good for a month until I gave him his present! With that being said, I wish Pete my apologies and wish him better luck this second time through the program!
Change is in the air as 2009 has begun and as this marks the return of this blog, I'd like to take a few moments of your time to reflect on the many events that have taken place between Christmas and today. Indeed, it has been a month of exciting things (for most of us, anyway). First of all, I would be foolish not to mention the unfortunate bad timing of my Christmas gift to my mailman, Pete. Pete had been delivering mail for over a decade however, at the end of Summer he started making mistakes on his route. Around Thanksgiving, Pete had vanished completely and was replaced by a part-timer at the post office. I never asked any questions as to what happened to Pete and then a few days before Christmas I noticed he was back at work and delivering mail again. I generally like to give Pete a little something at Christmas to know how much I appreciate him however, this year instead of the usual monetary gift, I gave him a bottle of Scotch and he was delighted. Unfortunately, when Pete was again off his route the following day, I discovered by accident that Pete's first round of being M.I.A. had been caused by his being in rehab. He was good for a month until I gave him his present! With that being said, I wish Pete my apologies and wish him better luck this second time through the program!
Borack Hussein ObamaBorack was anxious all December long to get a "jump start" on his duties as 44th President of these United States. For many of us, we were a bit confused for a few moments as to "WHO?" the President actually was! When the automakers came to Washington to ask for a bailout and Israel and Palastine started stirring up trouble in the Middle East weeks before he was sworn into office, Obama took a backseat approach and let Bush deal with these things on his own reminding all of us that there's only "One President at a time" That's OK. There's still plenty of mess to go around no matter who is in The White House. Obama rolled into Washington on a train to get re-live the same experience as Abe Lincoln did. In a bit of irony, there was never any mention of the "Underground Railroad"... this one was Amtrak!
The Ghost of Honest Abe
Obama was sworn into office (well, sort of), on Tuesday January, 20th 2009. Because of the Hollywood atmosphere with large crowds and high expectations, the ceremony was botched up however, it wasn't Obama's fault. Regardless, the perfectionist that he hopes to become, he did the whole thing over the next night becoming only the third President to repeat the process. Keeping up with Lincoln's legacy was an important attribute for Obama's journey to Pennsylvania Ave. Obama used Lincoln's very own Bible during his oath which was bookmarked with x-rated jokes from the 1800's that Lincoln had handy in case he needed to soften up a crowd before one of his long, boring, and often historic speeches. If those didn't help do the trick, the tin-type photos of Mary Todd Lincoln in her bloomers that fell out on the floor certainly would have! It is said that the Obama often chats with the ghost of Lincoln and will continue to seek his guidence through these troubled times. Before moving out of his home of the past eight years, George Bush took liberty to take a poke at the light side of Obama by leaving a can of Lincoln Logs placed next to his desk that he can use to play with while pretending to be interested when talking to Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton during a conference call. Despite the pile of ads left behind for consideration of a new limo, it is rumored that Lincoln advised Obama to ditch any Ford products and go with GM. He ended up with an Escalade for transportation.
Airport: 2009It was impossible to sit through the 24 hour non-stop cable coverage of the Innauguration without a break. Unfortunately, The View ended up getting pre-empted again, this time because of an airline incident in New York when a U.S. Air jet had to make an emergency landing into an icy Hudson River. By some miracle, all passengers on board had survived thanks to the heroic crew and a determined pilot who went beyond the call of duty to make sure everyone was safe. I learned a valuable lesson here as a result: When tragedy strikes anywhere and end in either a positive or negative outcome, NEVER call the ticket counter at a major airport to prank call the person answering the phone... your call will always be traced no matter what!
Crap becomes more clear when seen in DTV
Getting back to important issues at The White House, President Obama already has quite a "dilly of a pickle" on his hands with the upcoming transition to Digital Television. Despite the fact that it's been publicized over and over and over again for the last few years, there are still roughly 15% of the population who have no idea what the significance of February 17th is. Oh yeah, either this small number of folks have been lying in a coma or, they really are THAT stupid?! The government has put a hold on passing out the discount coupons which resemble a credit card, due to the fact that too many people have made attempts to pay their dinner tab at Red Lobster. For the ones that are sort of "with the program" on DTV but still not too certain (like the elderly), this little black box from outer space is causing quite a stir. Your Grandparents may have gone out and cashed in their coupon at Walmart for the box they brought home, but now what? I've had this situation happen to me already with a relative who keeps asking me why the government is making everyone in the U.S. get HBO, Showtime, and Cinemax and all the other filth on cable TV. You can explain it over and over that it's NOT cable and they still don't get it! I'll tell you what... for take advantage of these folks by telling them not only is the DTV converter box for CATV but, the government is going to take an $89.95 monthly service fee from their Social Security check to pay for the service. In this case you may want to suggest they make the check out to you so you can take care of the mess while pocketing the money. You know, after considering this DTV thing and the rotten economy and Recession and blah, blah, blah... maybe Obama ought to consider looking into this as a possibility to help balance the budget and lend a helping hand to Main Street and Wall Street. There you go Mr. President, one problem already solved!
