"Three cheers for these Queers, and other tall tales"

• Here we go...first things first on this Friday afternoon,,,Paris Hilton is holding her own in jail. This poor kid. Everyday the folks at the jailhouse make Paris strip nude. They pick her up like a bowking ball and examine everything with an opening. Paris hasn't even yet put in two weeks and has been a pain in the ass, The word today is, Paris isn't to crazy about the oatmeal and peanut butter and jelly. Her Attorney says this is a bunch of crapola and Paris is ready to blow away with the next strong wind.
• Tank Johnson of the Chicago Bears...Oh yeah, the heat was on him earlier this year when his bodyguard got shot in a nightclub and police found guns at his home. When his brief prison visit came to a close, a 6 to 8 game suspension in the upcoming season would be in the cards. About a month ago, Johnson went on television and claimed his life was now devoted to Jesus. That may be so...Jesus turned water into wine however, Seagram's gin wasn't around 2000 years ago. He was told not to screw up anymore but, swerving all over the road and going 20 miles over the limit...well, it ain't looking good. The most puzzling thing about this is the police stating it will be two to three weeks before the blood test results are in. That's plenty of time to play around with the sample. Johnson isn't carrying the team. Matter of fact, I say to Lovie, quit being so "lovie dovie" and cut the guy loose. A big distraction to say the least.
• Be gay, be proud and say it loud! Sunday in Chicago is the annual "Gay Pride Parade". I mention this only because the media has welcomed this event with open arms. This may as well be the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. WGN is covering this event. Consider this to be a big cesspool of sexually transmitted diseases. I'd turn the thing on in a heartbeat if I were guaranteed some "lipstick lesbians"...No such luck. All I'll get is Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen Degeneris. My advice to all gays is, if you're male, never mind a Trojan,,,use a sock. Women...Oh, I can't say it.