Considering I experience at least a half a dozen sleepless nights during the week, it's always nice to know that in the world of CATV I can always "tune in" to a program that I overlooked days before. When it comes to reality shows featuring bankrupt, drug addicted celebrities at wit's end, VH-1 is the place to go. It's quite entertaining. Around Christmas, I took my shot at giving a popular show some "Poetic Justice". Well, the eight week long show finally came to an end. It came as no surprise to me that the specific people I wrote about for the most part, failed the program. A tiny few were able to squeak by and "Graduate" to the "Sober House", the follow-up series to the original "Rehab". It's my job to put the Kabosh on their progress as I bring you up to date on what you may have missed... in another poem...
"Step two in recovery is living alone,
still no no drinking or drugging allowed in the home.
still no no drinking or drugging allowed in the home.
The residents are all dressed to go out to the bars,
despite all their problems and the fact they are stars!
Dr. Drew Pinsky is still the group's shrink,
but who is he kidding to think they won't drink?
It had just been an hour and a quarter past ten,
when the first call came in to say, "We're all drinking again"
Drew shook his head then he slammed down the phone,
he then hopped in the car to get the group home.
"I thought I could trust you, you gave me your word."
Then Andy Dick laughed and said, "Drew, how absurd!"
"We're all addicts, you know and we're not gonna stop..."
"Just one more round barkeep I'm ready to drop!"
While planning his exit and eying the door,
Andy Dick pooped his pants and threw up on the floor
"We're going to treatment" were the words that were said,
Stephen Adler agreed and even nodded his head.
They agreed that they'd all do the program again,
so long as Drew Pinsky allows heroin.
Be it booze, pills or crack or a combo of thee,
the drama survives for the next "Season 3"
