"Halloween Havoc", "Who's crazier, Madonna or Oprah?", and a bar of Irish Spring for Rush's filthy mouth"

• "Holy Cripes! It's the Great Potato Charlie Brown!" -Here's an interesting little bit of information taken from the news that you can put to good use for bar bets or an ice-breaker with someone you just met at Chili's. The morning news stations like to have their college interns look up trivia questions that they display and then make you wait until the end of the show for the answer (FOX entices viewers to phone in a text message or call a 900 number that's two bucks a pop). The other day the question was asked about the origins of Halloween and what was originally used as decorations other than pumpkins. I had to stick around for the answer just for the heck of it. So they say, Halloween was meant to be a silly day of non-stop shenanigans and pranks and was originated in Ireland before going through a number of changes upon arriving here. For whatever reason you see, pumpkins can't grow there so they used eggplants and potatos. These things can grow in Ireland's soil...why not a pumpkin? What's so special? Anyway, I think the person that looked up this "factoid" was pulling a fast one on the newsteam. Only goes to show you that these people don't read what they're going to say ahead of time before they go on the air. How in the hell does one "carve" a potato or eggplant? If this is possible, I put this story in with the guy that puts passages from The Bible on the head of a pin and send it off to the Ripley's museum.
• Dammit! "She's made up her mind and she's keeping the baby" - In a classic "One hand washes the other" scenario, I guess Madonna owed Oprah a big favor for something for appearing via satellite from Africa a few days this week. Madonna is now a trend setter. Angelina Jolie doesn't count because she's cautious about who she talks to. If you're white and have the bucks, go to a third world country and pick yourself up a little black kid preferably ill or starving to death, and the more diseases the better. HIV is always a guarantee to get the kid off the lot and into your home today. So, Madonna didn't choose to talk about this with a reputable newsperson such as Barbara Walters. Instead she picked the hooting and hollering animals/women that make up Oprah's audience. Madonna doesn't need a baby at 48 years old. She's looking tired and worn out and has that awful British accent which was done better by Mike Meyer's in Austin Powers. So, the kid's pappy didn't know what this was all about. He got hoodwinked. Stepping off her private jet, this guy thought she would take care of the boy, get some meat on his bones, and send him to Harvard one day so he can go back home. He had no idea who Madonna was except for the fact that she had a suitcase full of Euro's. Before carting the kid off she gave the shaken man the entire catalogue of her CD's. He took them and scratched his head in confusion. It was a nice gift for someone who doesn't know what music is, who Madonna is, what a stereo and CD player are, or what a CD is! Hell, this guy hopes for a rainy day so he can put out a bucket to collect rainwater to drink and she thinks he's going to load up her songs into his iPod. She told Oprah that she's going to take good care of the boy and Oprah and her audience yelled, screamed, applauded, and cried like babies because of Madonna's heart of gold. Oprah is always so touched and full of emotion over stories like this that it makes me sick! I want to know why Oprah just wants to sit in her chair and toss softball questions to her guests and then end the show by telling the guest that they're such a big inspiration. If words amounted to anything, Oprah's ass kissing would have her dressing room filled with dozens of hanging Nobel Peace Prizes. I say, Madonna should stay in the UK, and Oprah should quit talking and start doing. Why not Oprah go to Africa and purchase a couple dozen kids with HIV and be Momma to them?
• Finally, Rush Limbaugh should be farting bubbles like The Lawrence Welk Show if only someone had made him wash his filthy mouth out with a bar of Irish Spring. the other day. The supposedly clean and sober ex Oxycontin junkie would make one wonder if he's back on the pills after accusing Michael J. Fox of not taking his medication anymore for his worsening Parkinson's Disease. At question was Fox's appearance in several political ads aimed at stem cell research. Limbaugh said he was skeptical about Fox's current condition because it seemed like good acting. He then suggested if it wasn't an act, Fox must have quit taking his medication weeks in advance of the commercials to make it seem like he was in genuinly bad shape. The ads showed Fox speaking and the whole while through was anxious, twitching, shaking and trembling. I saw one of the ads and unfortunately, his disease has progressed to the point where it's almost painful to watch him as he struggles to keep it together...not an acting job as Limbaugh suggested. He later apologized after a few hundred people called his "EIB Radio Network" to bitch. What a joke! Even Howard Stern wouldn't stoop as low. Rush, you better put down the pills and go back to rehab. You're talking like a junkie again!