"Larry's coup to chew the fat", and "A big Shaq attack!"

Larry King: "Jupiter, Florida...Hello. You're on the air. How about it...You have a question for the just released Paris Hilton?"

Caller: "No Larry, my question is for you."

LK: "OK, go ahead"

Caller: " Are you still married to that former host of USA's "Up All Night" Rhonda Shear or did you give her the pink slip like your eight other wives got?"

LK: "Nope.. She hit 30 and was getting those crows feet around the eyes. I couldn't lay down in bed with that at night anymore. All she had going for her were the breast implants. Hee. Hee. Hee."

Caller: "Now that Paris is out of jail, she's vulnerable and looking for a man. You ought to get some of that."

LK: "Paris! How about it? We can go to Vegas after the show abd get married and honeymoon back here in The Poconos. We can start working on making some children right away."

Paris: "That sounds HOT Larry."

LK: "Hee, Hee, Hee."

It might happen like this on Tuesday night when Larry King scores a hole in one by snagging Paris for an interview first thing out of the slammer. Larry was doing cartwheels down the hallways of CNN over this however, little does he know that he was the only one that was ever interested in talking to her in the first place.

Here's a real headscratcher. Because Shaquille O'Neil has such a good relationship with Disney and the Miami Heat's season ended by the Chicago Bulls, what better way to fill an hour of television than using Shaq as the star of his own reality show? The timing is perfect. All that's been in the news lately are all the overweight kids in America addicted to Playstation, McDonald's, and greasy potato chips. Now, the first person I think of when it comes to being fit is Sqaq. He's big, overweight, and slow...not to mention not that good at free throws. He's the one that's going to light a fire under kids asses and get them moving? Let's face it, Shaq needs someone to motivate HIM! I consider this one show of many that will be a train wreck. Call it quits, sit in front of the TV with the Fritos, and turn on the NBA 2K7 on Playstation!