"Relax. Close your eyes. It'll be over in no time!"

I found myself getting involved in a conversation with a stranger the other day who happened to bring up all the problems that one of our two Presidential candidates will be facing after January 1st. Here was a guy in his 50's that worked his whole life for AT&T, recently retired, and dabbled a little with throwing some extra pocket change into the stock market. He, like a lot of people out there, had money in a place that he didn't really get too involved with until the recent events of the last few weeks. As it turned out, when he finally decided to look into where some of his money was going, he was shocked to learn the amount of money that had built up over the years without him knowing. $5,000 was sitting there and he didn't know what to do. Unfortunately for him, he caught an interview with CNBC Financial "Guru", Jim Cramer one morning on television and that's when the problems really started. Because he waited too long to do anything, that 5K that he knew he never had until now is gone forever. To make matters worse, this guy took a buyout for early retirement, got a year's severance pay for all his years of hard work, and is now dipping into his 401K despite all the penalties. Sure, that $5,000 would have come in handy right now BUT...he listened to some horse's ass on television who misled him and others into a big financial mess. By the way, his apologizing the following day about what he advised everyone to do ended with Cramer nearly in tears on his hands and knees in a spectacle not seen since Rev. Jimmy Swaggart's sex scandal years ago!

Have you seen John McCain on TV giving his two cents about the bind we're all in? He's a guy who believes that like all other bad things, "This too shall pass!". He may be right. Why worry now? Things will fall back into place in time and the quick fix is as simple as slapping a Band-Aid over the situation for now. As a matter of fact, the entire global economy continues to meet together to find a solution. There is one on the way however, like many welcoming offers, this also has strings attached. Considering we're half way there, we may as well embrace it, accept it, and see what happens in the end. Even though most of us know the ending already. This is the beginning of a New World Order. A plan detailed in The Bible. All religions seem to be on the same page when they suggest that The Bible is a blueprint however, it can be altered in a way that has positive results. Only we can change it to actually work that way. In this case, the N.W.O. has nothing to do with WCW Monday Nitro of years ago. This is serious business and the ball has already started rolling.. This of course, is all unchartered territory. While world leaders converge and look for a way to right this wrong, it's clear that what happened in The United States has leaked into the rest of the world. The solution? The world has to pull together and press the reset button and reboot. In the end, the only solution is a global monetary system.

Get rid of Euro's, Dollars, Pesos and start from scratch. Call it what you want, but make a dollar worth a dollar everywhere in the world that accepts money. If you pay $4 a gallon for gas here, make it the same in the U.K., China, Australia..everywhere. How about $2 for a gallon of milk worldwide? A fixed mortgage rate so everyone can afford a home?! The Bible suggests that getting to this point will result in a storm that rains toads and hot hail and leads to our final days here on earth. Now, my question to you on this Sunday is: Who is going to interrupt the meeting and stop the events from taking place? Well, sorry folks. Not me. I can't afford the plane ticket to get to that meeting anyway. I guess we all have to wait this thing out?!!

Basic Math

(1) Sir Elton John + (1) Billy Corgan = (1) President of North Korea. Congratulations! You're off the United States' Most Wanted Terrorists Database!

"Ramblings About Nothing"

As this week comes to a close, I look back on the last seven days and reflect on what it was like to go out and do something I usually hate to do... go out in public and "mingle" with peope. I don't like it because unlike most people, I can't just go out and enjoy myself. My mind is always working and I usually return home at the end of the day trying to pull all my thoughts together. You know, this week was no different than the others however, the only thing was that this time a few of my stops included waiting rooms. OK, first things first was the eye doctor. I've visited with many doctors over time and I still can't understand why this guy is the one with the most paperwork to fill out! Good God! I just had a cornea implant a week ago meaning, my eye is still not all together. Not to mention the eye drops I placed in my eye going to see this guy. Tell me now, if I'm in his office, that means I can't see, correct? If I can't see, how am I able to read all the small print? This is how they take advantage of you. The small print says, "Your vision may be worse after your visit with the doctor" You can't see it, but you sign anyway because "Who really reads all that small print anyway?" No matter how bad he screws you up, at least he's covered legally. Meanwhile, you're screwed!

My next stop was at my family doctor the next morning. This guy always makes me fill out paperwork too! It doesn't make a difference if I were to see him today because if I come back tomorrow, I have to fill out the same paperwork all over again. I asked the lady at the desk, "What's going on? Are the computers down?" "No." She replied. "It's our new security policy. You'll have to do this every visit". Am I wrong, or is this new policy a little too late? Afterall, 9/11 was seven years ago. Unless I missed Bill O'Reilly one evening, a doctor needn't worry too much about someone coming in to play with the inventory. Here it is, seven years after the fact and no one is still for certain if that chemist that killed himself was the one who put Anthrax in the mail! Not only that, but if I have a nasty drug habit, my family physician is the last place I'd run to. The only "smack" this guy ever gave me was a "smack" on the ass when I was born. I hate to say it but, "security" is something I will refer to often in this post. As time has moved on from the 1960's to today, we've been trying like crazy to speed up the process of everything and making things simpler. As we began to worry about the ozone layer and global warming, paper was on it's way out and everything went on computer. All of a sudden, it seems we're going in reverse. Back to the old days where file cabinets were the norm. Hey, at least your ipod is helping you out for you. This computer nonsense in the real world is on it's way out. Here's another gripe about my doctor: While you wait for him to see you, he's got a brand new plasma television on the wall that's always tuned to Fox Business Channel and next to it is a sign that says, "Don't change the channel please". Is this a good thing? Did he not notice the sudden increase of blood pressure in his patients in October who must sit and watch all the bad things on Wall Street as you wait to see him? Typical of most doctors, mine also has a lot of old magazines laying around to keep you busy. As I was catching up on what's going on in Operation Desert Storm the other day from a 1990 Newsweek magazine, I thought it would be kind of funny to make up a couple of magazine covers on PhotoShop and staple them to some old magazines on my next visit. Instead of reading news from twenty years ago, a few clicks of the mouse will allow me to change the cover story and the date to twenty years into the future. The fun starts as soon as you sit back and take notice as people pick up a magazine and start glancing through. You thought the people at the Doctor are weird? How weird is it now that his office is in "The Twilight Zone"? He gives me a scrip and off I go to Walgreen's.

Upon returning home and opening the bottle of pills, I realize I was given the wrong thing by mistake and need to go back. I thought of a few other things I'd pick up as long as I'm going back there and here's where "security" springs into action again. I decide to get some AXE body soap. There are now two aisles of assorted scents to pick from. Needless to say, they are locked behind plexi-glass and I need an employee with a key to open the cabinet. Wouldn't you know it that I had the same luck when I spotted mouthwash and razor blades? Some of what I wanted only had floor samples and the real stuff was behind the counter at the pharmacy. All in all, it took about fifteen minutes to get only a few things because of "security". So, while at the pharmacy I tell the Pharmicist about the mix up with the pills. I hand her the open bag containing an open bottle of pills with all the seals broken, and she gladly takes it back without any problem, puts it back on the shelf and hands me the correct one. It's good to know that I can't taint a bottle of soap however, switching one pill with another is fine and dandy at least at Walgreen's.

"I'd like to dedicate this next song to..."

I turned on the television late last night only to realize that my prior chennel surfing much earlier had left me parked on The History Channel. Now, I'm not really too sure about what goes on there depending on what "daypart" I may tune in. In other words, the Neilson Ratings often reflect what the demographics are for a certain block of time. Maybe it's me, but I remember a time when History was exactly that. Matter of fact, it was like watching PBS with commercials and kind of a neat way to avoid actually opening up a history book in school. I've gotta tell you, a LOT has changed on the network in the last twenty something years since I actually paid attention. If not for the little "H" on the bottom of the screen, I'd swear I was watching E! or some mockumentary on MTV. I tuned in half way through a certain program which was all about conspiracy theories. A smorgasboard of topics came up and not one mention of J.F.K. or 9/11 that you usually hear about. This was a show about famous names in Hollywood and the mysterious circumstances in which they died. I knew that something was up as soon as they put Anna Nicole Smith and Kurt Cobain's deaths under a microscope suggesting that they didn't die from self medicating themselves with booze and pills but rather, may have been murdered. Now, there have been so many books and movies made about J.F.K., Marilyn Monroe, U.F.O.'s and Sasquatch, but who is the guy losing sleep over this stuff abd was it really newsworthy enough to make it on the same channel that keeps it's fan base due to Civil War re-enactments and WWII newsreels. I then realized, "Oh, this has something to do with Halloween coming around the corner" and then I got it. But it still doesn't make any sense. I guess this channel is now run by former staffers of TMZ. Someone actually is looking into the death of Nirvana's Kurt Cobain! If they want to investigate anything in this area, perhaps they ought to look into how it's possible that Tupac Shakur has been dead for a decade and still manages to come out with a new CD every year.

Going back to Nirvana, I just became aware of the latest rumor that happens to be circulating on the Internet about the popular Alt-Rockers The Foo Fighters who formed soon after Kurt Cobain's homicide or suicide or whatever as the brainstorm of Nirvana's Dave Grohl. It seems someone has come up with the idea that a song from several years ago was written as an homage to none other than John McCain. The song, "My Hero" has fuzzy lyrics that you can pretty much connect to anybody if you really want to. Matter of fact, the song came out just before McCain's last attempt at The White House in 2004 where he was eliminated as one of the candidates. This was also right after John McCain still spent the majority of his time as Senator in Arizona where he had a hard time recognizing MLK's Birthday as a Federal Holiday. Now, you may be thinking, "Why The Foo Fighters?" I agree. You would expect this sort of nonsense from a pokitical rock group like Megadeth or Rage Against The Machine. The Foo Fighters? They're harmless. They say a good writer often sleeps with a pen and a pad of paper next to the bed in case you happen to wake up with a thought so you can scribble it down. Hey, I don't. I don't think Dave Grohl does it either. Matter of fact, he thinks this whole story is nothing but a silly guy that started a silly rumor. Funny or not, this has led the rest of the band to start to wonder the same thing..."What WAS the song REALLY about anyway?" All Dave can do is shrug his shoulders and laugh. If he knows, he ain't telling. The laughter however, didn't last too long once the boys in the band got wind that McCain was using the song as an entrance theme for his persoanl appearances. I guess these guys are Democrats eh? They're not the first ones to make a fuss over a political figure using their song to get a quiet crowd stirred up. Heart and James Taylor already had it out with McCain's Camp over the use of their music without their permission. For Heart and James Taylor's sake, they should have just kept their mouths shut and let McCain keep doing what he's been doing. When was the last time one of their songs charted anyway? So, contrary to what you hear, there was no story behind the song and certainly no association with the man that wants to be President. In fact, as far as McCain is concerned, "Nirvana" is something he found after being released from his Vietnamese prison meanwhile, his father was busy with "The Foo Fighters" for his time in WWII. As for Dave Grohl and the rest of the band? I'd be surprised if they're even registered voters. So, let's put this conspiracy to rest!