Election Day Opinions: Everybody has one. I should have known that as soon as I turned on the news during breakfast that I shouldn't have expected anything more than I got. Gone were the usual homicides, fatal car accidents and stories about grizzly bears walking into Best Buys in Colorado. Nope. You see, today will hopefully end with a new President and perhaps we can all get a rest from the barrage of political ads and related things that keep The Daily Show on Comedy Central in business. I saw the 200 or so satellite news trucks parked in Grant Park here in Chicago today. Half the City is under high security and many people get the day off too. All the big news channels started the day following Sen. Obama's trip through the polling place. Not only did he make his vote a family affair with bringing along the kids for help (Is that legal?), he showed all of Cjicago the ease of electronic voting. They say that it should take about 20 minutes to do however, by the time Obama was done consulting his kids after every vote and hammed it up for cameras with the obligatory hugs and kisses for the family, he clocked in at a little over an hour from start to finish. There was also a record turnout at his polling place from friends and neighbors who turned out not to vote but, remind him that they are supporting him anyway. Yes, that's right! If you were a Fox reporter, would you set aside time to chat with a lady crying her eyes out and calling this the "Most important day in HISTORY" and then admits to the world that she didn't even bother to register to vote?! You can rest assure that there's a alot more people like her in the area that didn't bother to register but are showing their support anyway... like he really needs it. Shame on Fox for not only putting this lady on TV, but didn't even bother to ask how she's going to show support without voting!

• "EZ Muhnee in Advertising 101" - Advertising is a tricky business and it doesn't matter in what format it's presented. Celebrity endorsements have long been used however, the majority of those involved find hawking a product here in America is often embarresing so they offer their services to other parts of the world. The ones that try and make a few bucks by showing their faces tied with a product always make me wonder how anyone is supposed to believe that they use these things in real life. We'll never know if Seinfeld has an AMEX card or shops with Bill Gates however, that's easier to believe than the growing number of hip-hop stars popping up on late night television.

1. Old Spice- They're trying sooo hard to update this classic namesake from it's old image of "Grandpa's cheap after shave" into something the kids think is hip. They've tried over the years like many others, to rename all the old products with names that jump out at you to get your attention. They can call it "High Energy", "Red Hot" or "Thunder". Let's face it though, it's still, "Granpa's cheap after shave" no matter what you want to call it. I'm sure that L.L. Cool J never leaves the house without a splash! After all, if Cool J uses it, why buy that expensive stuff? This is only $3 a gallon and it must work!
2. Vitamin Water- Let's be honest. When you read the label of this popular bottled water, you'll see that it's full of anti-oxidents, vitamins and other things that flush a person's system out and make you feel refreshed and full of energy! When you keep that in mind, who better to have plug the product than hardcore/gangsta,hip-hop/rapper, "50 Cent"? Don't get the wrong idea. He does have a long rap sheet for all kinds of illegal stuff. If you load up your body with weed, crack, or whatever tonight, have a bottle of Vitamin Water before work, and get singled out for a random drug test, all the water you drank will NOT make the drug test a "negative". "50 Cent" got together with the manufacturers and was so impressed that he purchased a big portion of the company. Still, I'm willing to bet that a concert of his would find Vitamin Water to be missing from the scene. Even the studies have shown that there's about a 99% chance that this stuff is tap water with a pinch of artificial flavoring and colors. I'd imagine though, if this would be a good remedy to fix all of a person's ailments, "50 Cent" may be the correct choice for any further research.

"Final thoughts before you cast your vote tomorrow!"

• You bet your ass, and your future! With only hours to go before we go out and vote for the next guy to take over this mess, we're down to the wire as far as this campaign goes. If you're like me, after two years of all this hoopla, I've had more than my fill to last a lifetime of mudslinging and putting words that candidates speak under a microscope. Let's face it, there's been an awful lot of time, effort, and money spent by both of the candidates. It all comes to an end tonight on ESPN during half-time of Monday Night Football. Tonight's game as I learned today, is more important than NFL statistics. People will be watching the game in large volumes (which makes me wonder why MNF got pushed to cable anyway). It seems that the Washington Redskins have the power to predict who will win tomorrow's election. How anyone was able to come up with the facts on this must have lots of free time. With the exception of 2004, a Redskin's victory and in this case, a pro-Obama roster's win may tell us who will be President-Elect after the clock stops. Ooh! A tough game to call, but I suspect Washington would have won regardless. You can bet on that. In a somewhat similar situation of seeing ahead into the future, I would suggest that this weekend's upcoming contest between the Chicago Bears and undefeated Tennessee Titans will be a blowout. The Bears have a tough time winning against a last place team and win by way of luck. In this case, look for the Bears to win over the Titans with a field goal.
• No need to print out a phony coupon for these freebies! Ok, if you voted early like I did, you won't be able to take advantage of several offers being made for tomorrow only. And that's a shame because I'm always looking for an easy way out rather than prepare a meal for myself. If you vote and get a sticker that says so, wear it all day long and hop in the car. Sure, these places are all in trouble financially and are struggling to stay afloat however, they put the effects of a global recession on the back burner to thank you for voting. Start the day by going to the polls and then if you can find one still in business, visit Starbucks, flash your "I voted" sticker and get a free coffee. Drink it slow though, you may be on the road awhile trying to find the next stop which is Krispy Kreme Donuts. They are giving away a donut to everyone who votes. Got plans for dinner? Go to Outback Steakhouse, flash your sticker and they'll give you one of their House Sirloins with your choice of potato for free!!! OK, I must admit, the last offer doesn't exist. If you think you're getting a steak dinner just for voting, you'll simply just be making a fool of yourself. Anyway, the coffee and donuts offers are legit. If that's the only reason you may have to get up early tomorrow, so be it. I'm sticking to my morning cup of tea.

"As seen on TV" A mid-weekend summary.

Filed in the category of "Dearly Departed Television Shows ...Attempting to Rise from the Ashes", two former evening dramas were mentioned as possibly coming back. What the heck, if you were in puberty during the first run of "90210"m now your kids are able to go through all the same drama thanks to the new version on The CW. I guess people somewhere find revisiting the past a pleasure which is why, thanks to good ratings, it's only fitting that "Melrose Place" comes back too. Don't worry kids, it's a done deal and casting begins soon. At this rate, by the end of next year all of Aaron Spellings "90210" spin-offs including "The Heights" and "Models, Inc" will be back too! Why? Beacause they were so darn good the first time around! But seriously, they were so memorable I had to find the names of the last two shows I mention here on Google. Here's another one that was pretty good at the time before scheduling and contract problems got in the way. "The West Wing" was a staple on Thursday nights for a few years and would have made it longer if not for the ten storylines happening at once. As this show did it's fictional take on events and people in the White House, it was realized that Martin Sheen's role as President would eventually run out of time. Before the show slipped into oblivion, two new candidates were sparring for top spot to replace Sheen. They were Alan "I'm as boring as hell" Alda, and Jimmy "I need the work" Smits. This week it was reported that the Smit's character was the creation of a writer on the show who has now come clean to say the storyline involving Smits was created after observing Borack Obama's rise in politics. Is this a good thing to admit to the world now? True, Smits' character went on to be the first minority President however, after only several episodes with Smits in the Oval Office, the show was gone due to lack of interest. Now, some cable network is attempting to bring this back to television... who knows? All I can say is that for Obama's sake, let's hope he isn't booted out of office in a month like Smits was!

• "Hank Hill and the gang are losing their homes" It seems Fox never learned their lesson with what they did twice to "Family Guy". Twice given the boot and given a third chance to bounce back to be one of the most successful Fox shows ever, the shoe is on the other foot now with word that "King of the Hill" is being dropped. Never mind that Hank Hill lived a life nearly fifteen years long. Mike Judge is the man who put an abrupt end to the popular MTV cartoon, "Beavis and Butthead" to put 100% effort into what turned out to be a cult hit. The truth is, I don't think we've seen the last of Hank. He will probably turn up on Cartoon Network to regenerate the buzz and who knows, by then maybe Fox will realize that they ought to keep things like this around. With the exception of a few shows that can ve counted on one hand, what has Fox done for anyone lately?
• "Atomically Correct" is a new label for something we do twice a year, just like my sex life. Wait! Not a good analogy! Actually, the dumb ritual of turning the clocks back an hour happens again before you hit the sheets for the night. Because the world is ssynchronized to the infamous "Atomic Clock" that needs to be calibrated by a millisecond once every 50 years, it's important that you turn back the clocks exactly one hour and .8832345 seconds. If not done exactly this way, you will be twisting the time/space continuum and may alter past events in time to repeat themselves over and over in and endless loop for eternity. Take this task serious and oh yeah, throw a new Duracell into the smoke alarm.
  

"Early votes cause early headaches" and "Not made in Hollywood"

• Your early vote has been locked away in a safe place, but so was your 401 K! - It's a good thing all the crooked "behind the scenes" antics of voting in Chicago are finally being dealt with after years of problems! But seriously, in a city like Chicago where "Bozo the Clown", Al Capone and Dick Hertz are still able to make a restaurant reservation and are eligible to vote, what else would you expect? Like other states, Illinois has thrown it's proverbial "hat in the ring" to allow busy and/or lazy people like me a chance to cast a vote early. You would think this is a good thing considering that turnout for early votes was a record three times more than expected. In other words folks, people are taking things seriously... that was until the local news leaked a big secret today. If you think your early vote was in a secure place until Tuesday, it may not be. All early votes are being held on USB memory sticks and will be "locked in a safe place" until Tuesday where each will be uploaded into a mainframe and tabulated. The only problem is that while reporters on the beat were covering this event, word accidentally leaked of where these votes are being kept, in a warehouse in Chicago. While the address was never given, I suspect people in that area recognized the building on TV. You'll be happy to know that this "top secret" area is being watched around the clock by a lonely security guard who raised his right hand and promised to keep this secret. Going one step farther, a representative held a conference today with the media informing everyone that the information was "somewhere on the same floor" that he was speaking as all the cameras rolled. Remember how easy it was for George Costanza to convince a guard at the bank that he needed to relaz in a comfy chair on Seinfeld? If anyone has half a brain, they should be relocating all these things someplace else even as I write this. Note to the PD: this time use an unmarked truck and by the way, those vans following you with the satellite dishes on top and station logo on the side are probably not someone's "tricked out party van" It may be the news!
• Where there's smoke, it may not be a fire but something worse! I take it that we're all safe and sound and escaped danger on Wednesday morning. While most of the U.S. was asleep, I woke up early for a cup of Celestial Seasonings Orange tea and peeked out the window as the sun rose above the horizon and shined a light on things. The sky was cloudless except for what appeared to be a vapor trail from a plane leaving Midway Airport. but this was a bit odd. A vapor trail always is widest near the skyline and narrows the higher it reaches. This was opposite meaning, something crashed. I found out later that day it was no big thing...only an asteroid! It had exploded over Colorado after entering the atmosphere at more than 17, 000 MPH. When it exploded, fragments of the thing rained down to Indiana in a matter of minutes. Pretty cool. While everything burned and nothing actually hit the ground, it's always nice to know that our government really sees no reason to tell us about these things until AFTER they happen. In other words, while Robert Duvall may have saved everyone in Deep Impact , don't count on such a thing in real life. More photos from the other day can be found on google using Wednesday's date, "meteor" and "Colorado" as keywords!