"An unlucky number, Looking for a quick buck,The end of Bob, AND from Costanza to Spooner."

A lot of ballyhoo this week surrounded a movie...Mmkay, it was mainly centered around the cast who had a few members visit Chicago during the Chicago premiere. George Clooney and Brad Pitt pulled into town for a meet and greet session with fans of their "Ocean's" movies. How much is a handshake and autograph worth from these two characters? $2000 clams. Don't worry. All the money made from this event is going overseas where Angelina Jolie is waiting anxiously to count the loot. Word is, "Ocean's 13" which opened today can probably use more of these impromptu visits if these guys wish to break even. This only further proves my point that "13" is bad luck. The big mystery here is why they made three films (and who knows how many more?) The original "Ocean's 11" from the 1960's wasn't one of "The Rat Pack's" greatest moments. Truth is, that movie was released under protest by Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. Even though they failed to put the brakes on the horrible film, at least they knew when to quit while they were ahead.

***Here's another one...Bruce Willis' 4th entry in the "Die Hard" franchise. Were there people actually begging for another movie OR, was it that Bruce Willis needed the work or the money? We know that no matter where the story takes place, it's always going to end the same way. Bruce may as well patch things up with Cybil Shepard and do a "moonlighting" reunion.

***Set your BetaMax for June 15th if you want to say, "Adios" to the legendary Bob Barker on his final show. Bob sheds a few tears but gets the train back on track for what was a typical finish with not a lot of hoopla. Word is, Bob and others behind the scene had given everyone in attendance a new car provided they wouldn;t discuss it until after next Friday. Bob has worked quite a few game shows over the years however, none would last as long as his run on "Price is Right". Well, he had a good ride and was always a guilty pleasure of mine. A class act, and someone who will be missed. Now that he's done it all, God needn't feel guilty about taking Bob home.

***Finally, we loved him as Frank Costanza on "Seinfeld" and loved him again as Arthur Spooner on "The King of Queens". I'm talking about Mr. Jerry Stiller who yes, is the father of Ben. The guy is so damn funny and celebrates his 80th Birthday. Regards to you Mr. Stiller and here's hoping you have a couple dozen more.

"The Paris Watch"

"Three whole days and I'm having a nervous breakdown!"

That's what did it, and then...she was shown the door and free to go home.

Now, this time of year has generally been slow in the entertainment news department. I was a little angry...OK, PISSED that things turned out the way they did. This would have been good fodder for a month. That's OK though. At least I know that I can use Miss Hilton as a landmark case when I go out and get a DUI this weekend. The Justice system is supposed to be fair so, I'm going to press it to the limit. I'm not going to slam anyone in law enforcement for this "comedy of errors" considering she will be under house arrest for the remainder of her 45 days. Let's be honest: Paris who weighs in at just over 100lbs can easily slip out of that ankle bracelet, go clubbing all night, and be back home with the thing around her leg before anyone even notices. I say, shut up, quit crying, and do your time. If you don't Paris, I'll make things a living hell for you and the "rent-a-cops" out in Beverly Hills. Paris needs to do something worthwhile before being let back into Society. Take a look at Tim Allen for example...He got his ass in a sling in Michigan recently. Part of his punishment resulted in Allen doing voiceovers for the "Travel Michigan" ads now airing on television. Do the right thing folks...send this "Dizzy Hollywood Ho" back to jail, and put three lesbians in the cell with her. That's worth the ticket price by itself!

"An online apology to Lindsay Lohan"

Well kids, I've done it again. I thought I was being funny by poking fun at Lindsay Lohan's cocaine problem that got her busted. Truth is, I didn't have the WHOLE story...until now. I'm sure most of you realize that Miss Lohan has not only been nailed with cocaine in her car but, she earned herself another DUI as well. After only a couple of weeks in rehab, Lohan fell off the wagon and has since returned to rehab. While she goes through detox, at least we'll have some of her classic films on DVD to watch like...The Cat From Outer Space and Herbie The Love Bug.
I've got a few questions that I'll probably never get answered. How is a 20 year old manage to gain four DUI's, spend some time in jail, and then be able to get behind the wheel again? This must be some new crazy California law. Why did Miss Lohan fall off the wagon so quick? ...This is a good one. Too much pressure and trying to make everyone happy. She couldn't handle the pressure. Yeah, life is rough when all you have is a few million in the bank and have to drive around in a crappy 2006 Porsche 928. Life is rough. Lindsay, when you get out, look us up. The Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE v. 4.0 will take you out for a night on the town in Chicago.

"The Life of Riley, Silly Pirates, and don't blame Lindsay"

OK, here we go kids...(A rather short version of TSP today) Game show fans are in mourning today due to the death of Charles Nelson Riley. Riley wore the big Harry Carey glasses as he made his way from Password to $25,000 Pyramid. Things were not always rosey for the guy. He was a homosexual that only used game shows as a way to make a living. 1970's television wasn't ready for gays. While he waited, Charles Nelson Riley was labeled as a "Game show goof". A little known fact: Riley sat next to Steve McQueen in college. Go get 'em Chuckie!

What's up with the whole pirate thing? I thought Oceans 13 was pushing it to the limit. Let's face facts...Disney could make a movie about a guy making a doodie and it would be a sell out. When the first "Pirates" movie came out, I read that there would be six films. I pray that what I read is only a rumor. I hate to tell Disney that I have enough fun with the "Pirates" ride at Disney World.

Lindsay Lohan...what can I say? God bless this 20 year old who just got out of rehab again only to get stopped after a traffic accident. The young Lohan was legally drunk and also had cocaine in the car. Aww c'mon, let's give her one more chance before the only way she can earn a living is with her bra and panties still on.