Premature Observation: Marshall Fields and Macy's

If Mr. Marshall Fields were alive today, he'd only live long enough to see Macy's Department Stores take over his Empire, then he would turn over and die again! Now that Marshall Field's locked the doors for the last time yesterday, consider yourselves all whores to New York and the Macy's name. With a hostile takeover such as this one similar to Adolf Hitler's reign of terror in Europe, all you can do this time is throw up a white flag and surrender! Personally, I don't really care. They say things will remain the same...that's good for me because I STILL can't shop there for a $15 pair of socks the way I could if it were still Marshall Fields. With the change comes all sorts of changes which may take some time to re-adjust to after nearly 120 years of having the same name. For instance, the big tree which has been a fixture in the State Street and Randolph store in Chicago forever, is pushing aside that tradition to make way for what is considered a "tradition" in New York. With the percentage of New Yorker's Jews, a large Hanukkah Bush will take the spot of the tree. Ironically, one of the all time Christmas favorites is Miracle on 34th Street, the first 90 minute infomercial where "Macy's" was by no means used sparingly. A young Natalie Wood and old Sebastian Cabbott as Santa Claus couldn't even figure out they were being prostituted for commercial purposes! Another bit of irony exists here... Apparently, this "classic" didn't quite do the job to get people to walk into the store. NOPE! They didn't just remake the movie once or twice, they remade it three times. The highlight of the second one as you may recall, pulled David Hartman away from his chair on "Good Morning America" in the FORGETTABLE 1970's remake. Now, people in Chicago are up in arms as is the case in those places were L.S. Ayres and Famous Barr changed over too. In Chicago, people shopped shoulder to shoulder during yesterday's final hours to purchase something, anything, with Marshall Field's name on it and then rushed home to immediately put these items on eBay. How would you like to spend $25 (starting bid) on a green paper shopping bag that you could have gotten for free had you gone to the store? Thank you Internet for making this possible. Too bad the Internet was still only an idea on paper when Kresge's, Venture, Woolworth's, Ben Franklin, and Montgomery Wards went belly up. I don't know about you, but I don't recall anyone cutting up their credit cards and sending them back with hate mail the way their doing now. So, for the time being, you may initially become confused when you decide to go shopping at Marshall Fields on a Sunday. The Macy's name is now owner of the "Field's" name. Imagine the confusion of taking the family to the old Field Museum which will soon be called the Macy's Museum. Finally, remember the only constant in life is "change". It wasn't even a decade ago that Macy's was about to file banfruptcy and sell out to a little store called "The Dollar Tree". So, to all the people who are mad as hell about shopping at Macy's, you may complain however, spend your $80 on a nice pair of jeans, or keep on boycotting the joint and maybe one day you can buy 5 pairs for $5 when Dollar Tree takes over or, in other words, quit bitchin1. Macy's hasn't cornered the market just yet!

101 Burros = 101 JACKASSES!

Now that the name switch is official, even before September 11th arrives, I have a message for the people who may have stumbled onto here thru a Yahoo! or Google search. You see, The Squealing Pig Worldwide shares a name with at least two watering holes in Boston and Denver. We are NOT connected with these dives. After doing some research online about these two dumps, I can tell you what you CAN'T expect from this Squealing Pig...

• Sure, dollar pitchers of Miller Lite are a bargain, but for these two bars a half pitcher of beer and another half of water is also a good deal ...for them!
• We're not going to go to Safeway or the A & P to pick up a dozen Tombstone pizzas and then comb the alleys behind Italian restaurants looking for empty pizza boxes with a fancy name so we can jack up the price and make you think you're getting the real McCoy. Hell, there's no pizza here at all!
• With this Squealing Pig you can use your own crapper when you gotta go. You don't have to worry about "hovering" over the toilet because you're worried about getting some kind of STD!
• We're not going to "Buddies for life". In other words, as the case may be with the two bars, we won't be doing shots of Rumplminze while I grab your girlfriend's breasts HOWEVER, if she's really that HOT, e-mail me a photo so I can put it on file for a rainy day.

Well, there you have it folks. We're not a bar...we're a blog. If you do happen to stop in at one of these places, make sure you shake all the roaches out of your clothes before you enter the house!

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Check us out September 11th 2006