"My turn at Bat" part II

Don't believe everything the critics say...not all critics speak for me...hell, some like Ebert don't even speak at all! Before last night's opening, this movie was already a hit, mostly in thanks to Heath Ledger. Now, I'm not familiar with all of his work prior to this movie, but I will say this: Heath Ledger was a troubled soul and yes, perhaps a brilliant actor. The young actor's method was classic "old school". Give the guy a script and he'd study, and study, and study day and night. He'd do research nonstop and "live" the character throughout the film's completion on and off camera. If the character he portrayed was a dope addict, Heath would walk around for several months experiencing all the highs and lows of drugs for himself. Such was the case with his final role as "The Joker". Caesar Romero portrayed "The Joker" as did Jack Nicholson. Nickleson, by the way, wasn't too impressed with what he saw Ledger bring to this role. It's dark, disturbing, and chemically imbalanced and many say this is the role that Ledger took too far. Watching some of Ledger's work on film is like watching a person's desperate plea for help. That's why enough is enough. Time to put this story to rest. True, the blurry line between cinematic roles and real life are what define brilliant acting, but this was more like a suicide note left behind. Can't wait to see "The Dark Knight"? Don't have the tickets yet? There's a two week wait! You're S.O.L.! And you thought the economy was in bad shape! People are bitching about $5.00 for a tank of gas but yet, the tickets sell like hotcakes. The bottom line is that taking the family to the movies is getting as expensive as a week's vacation at Disney World in 1970. All the frenzy as folks camped out for days to get their mitts on tix... crazy ain't it? Well, the critics say this movie is now the benchmark of modern cinema and moviegoers from last night agree. As one person said upon leaving the theater at 3 A.M., "It's like The Godfather Trilogy, The Star Wars Trilogy and Indiana Jones to the tenth power!" Wow! This IS only a movie isn't it? I don't think it's worth all the hype and to be honest, is quite ridiculous to compare a big clump of films to this. Movies are missing one thing that they can't get back... that is, longevity. Like all the movies this guy mentioned, there was a time where a dilm had a long shelf life and would sit in a theater (or two or three) for six months. Not anymore. You'll see this movie on Blu-Ray and DVD just in time for Christmas if not sooner. Keep in mind when you take the kids to see this that Heath Ledger left the iconic "Batman" series a mess. Where can it go from here? Oh yeah, who's the dope that settled on a "PG-13" rating for this?

"Taking my turn at Bat"

"...The Joker's Wild", or "Where's Wink Martindale?" My thoughts on America's latest obsession with the "Caped Crusader". See the "Bat Signal" in the sky? It's a desperate last attempt to revive this dying franchise. Don't worry though, long before the movie hits theaters in the next few hours, this movie has already been granted immunity because the entire saga is counting on a villain to rake in the bucks: The late Heath Ledger, who goes in the books as "Joker #3" in movie history. That's the irony here. Actors have come and gone with their own takes on characters in Gotham City, and many of these people have also found that their life afterwards wasn't all too "Super". Adam West was the original 1960's Batman. The first motion picture happened after the tv series ended, and didn't do so good either. West was typecast and forced to do bit roles in film and television where he remains a regular "voice" on Fox's, "Family Guy" cartoon. In the early 1980's when talk started about making a different kind of Batman remake, actor Michael Keaton got the role as Batman and much of the other cast agreed to be in it to jot down as work on their resume'. That was the only time in cinema history that you will ever see Keaton and Jack Nicholson together...EVER! "Mr. Mom", "Gung Ho", and the success of "Batman" made Keaton go crazy. He turned down the second film a few years later and went on to such forgettable flicks as "Jack Frost". Too bad! For some reason or another, Val Kilmer was called upon to play the role for another film. This role was not too long after his portrayal of Jim Morrison in "The Doors". Where have you seen him after that? Bit roles and cameos in independent films where he continues today. ...And then there was George Clooney. Ahh yes, while mulling his future in the middle of a successful "E.R.", George decided it was time to up and leave the ABC drame to play Batman. The plot thickened everywhere except the silver screen where the watered down storylines gave the franchise a last gasp until a few years ago. Note how many long gone, and forgotten films of Clooney's were made between "Batman" and "Ocean's 11". Finally, there's the current Batman... what's his name? Exactly. That's the point. "Gotham City Nights" was supposed to be a big flick but turned out to become only a "critically acclaimed" movie that failed at the box office. Well, "what's his name" is back again. Ironically, the latest movie which continues from where we left off a few years back, was made to be an "artsy" film. Thanks to Heath Ledger's death earlier this year, the film has become a "Summer Blockbuster" before it even opens. There's already all kinds of rumbles about Oscars here... which makes me wonder. Is it a good movie or is it Heath Ledger that makes this a must see? That' why I'm doing today's post in two parts. Okay, I'm not actually going to camp out tonight to see the movie, but tomorrow I'll be critical to what the critic's say and why I think this should be the final film for the "Caped Crusader".

Continued Tomorrow

"Trimming the fat off of Jared's meaty contract?"

Jared's belly gets "called on the carpet" as he gets warned, "shape up, or ship out!" ...It was 10 years ago that an unknown twenty-something Jared Fogle pulled the nation's heartstrings with his weight loss success story. Here was an average guy with the exception of his 60" waist, big belly, high blood pressure, and borderline diabetes. Jared managed to lose a large amount of weight on a fast food diet consisting solely of Subway Sandwiches, and the popular restaurant franchise was quick to make Fogle their poster boy until now. For the last decade, he's been on a "Subway" ride that has made him a household name. All that Jared had to do to keep the gravy train rolling was travel across America and meet with hungry diners, pose for photos, and sign autographs. More recently however, Jared's print ads have been somewhat discouraging...it seems as though all those foot long lunches and dinners are expanding his waistline and "Subway" ad executives are starting to question the elastcity of his contract. It seems as though Jared Fogle's star may be fading. In the first photo above released two weeks ago, we see Jared ten years ago post-weight loss side by side with Jared today. You don't need to have 20/20 vision to see that Jared is gaining weight. Nobody is sure if he knows it however, his wife, and more importantly, "Subway" know it. One thing he probably doesn't know is that while touring all of their stores, "Subway" is using Jared as a talent scout to replace himself! Maybe if "Shakey's" out in California does tv ads, they can hook Jared up with a new deal for them, kind of like the old "Pets.com" sock puppet. The camera crews aren't following Jared around everywhere he eats so "Subway" can't prove his honesty or loyalty however, "Subway" hasn't been honest with us the last decade either. Do you think Jared lost all that weight from eating a big sandwich stuffed with lunsheon meats full of sodium and topped off with oil and mayo twice a day, EVERY DAY? Nope. It was only six inch veggie subs on wheat with no trimmings...In other words, picture a clump of crabgrass between two slices of wheat bread. If anything, Jared should feel lucky to be alive. He bounced back a lot faster than that guy that ate at McDonald's for 30 days. In any event, the photos of new "everyday folk" are trickling through the office and it's all up to how Jared plays his cards. Anyway, he should've known he was under the microscope after the last board meeting when shareholders asked him when the last time was that he saw his private parts!

"Taking a CRACK at law and order" and "High Pop flies one outta the park!"

Watching "Cops" on a Saturday evening may soon have a new twist. One of the first things you hear a cop yell to an offender who exits the car is to, "get those hands out of your pocket!" Whatta ya gonna do now if you're out in public walking the streets like these two photos and the cop tells you to do the same thing? Simple: The hands come out and the pants fall down. You've now just earned yourself a ticket which falls somewhere in the category

of "public indecency" which is kind of a fuzzy area of the law in the first place. Though probably a few years too late, communities all over are adding this violation to their books. You see, in past years the fashion trend of baggy pants, no belt and showing off your underwear or part of your ass crack has been linked to gangbangers. Again, maybe the "hands out of the pockets" idea is good for those walking around with guns and knives, but the average person will get discriminated against because this IS the law, and EVERYONE is expected to comply with the law... or else! Remember that the next time the repairman from Sears comes over to fix your refrigerator or the plumber crawls under your sink to fix a leaky pipe. First, check to see if this law has been passed where you live, then if the big fella wants to argue about it when you tell him to "pick up those pants!", call the cops. Don't call 911 though. This isn't a big emergency however, it's better off to let the cops handle it than to see the part of the guy's crack where he forgot to wipe!

There's an old Polish song that had the lyrics, "In heaven there is no beer... that's why we have to drink it here". That's what one Chicago area guy is doing now and for his sake, that song better be wrong or there's gonna be an eternity of thirsty Cubs fans buried in his proposed cemetary. When a person retires, he often has lots of time put to use to conjure up crazy iseas such as this one. Now, this isn't a vacant piece of property with nothing going on. This place already is occupied by the dead who, if this guy gets his way, would be moved elsewhere while the empty graves are reserved for the average Cubs fan. What's in store for the "lucky" fan who drops dead and buys a grave? You can be placed in between all the souls who never got to see the Cubbies wib a World Series. ...At least if the first place Cubs season goes downhill the rest of the year, you and your friends can assemble some of the old greats for an "All Star Game" literally, in the stars. No word yet on whether or not this gentleman will get his way to move ahead with his plans however, as the photo illustrates, an ivy covered brick wall is ready to be set in place. Whew!