"Strange but true" and "Are you smarter than a weatherman?"

"Now see what you made me do?" Those were the last words that 57 year old Robert Kowalski of Wisconsin said to his wife as police slapped the handcuffs on him and escorted him to the squad car. Bob was still coming off a bender from the previous night when his wife called him a drunk and scolded him for being lazy with the chores and Bob, who was still in a stuper, stumbled outside to mow the lawn. Unfortunately, the lawn mower failed to start. Bob kicked and cursed and finally had enough as he went inside and got a pistol and returned to the front yard to "teach that dang lawn cutter a lesson" by firing several shots at it. No, the lawn mower still didn't start however, just suffered a transmission fluid leak. Meanwhile, Bob's wife was indoors peeking through the blinds while dialing 911. When police finally arrived and asked Bob what was going on, an irate Bob snapped back at them, "It's my lawn mower and I can shoot it if I want to!" From there, he was placed under arrest and faces several charges along with a fine of $1000 and possibly six months in jail. I don't think Bob's wife will be doing any bitching at him in the near future. By the way, the lawn mower is expected to make a full recovery.

Finally, The Weather Channel gets something right! Fresh off the heels of the Meteorologist controversey of several months ago when an "on-air" talent was booted off the set for sexually harrassing a female co-worker, TWC is going back to good old fashioned "family friendly" programming, and kicking things off with a new contest that will perhaps have Al Roker terrified of his future: Let your kid predict the weather. It's easy and you can upload your videos at their website. They'll play the clips on the air and the kid that nails the forecast closest will be invited to Atlanta to take a tour of the their studios. Hey, this is a good thing. I studied meteorology for a few years and while there's a lot of technical terms and jargon thrown around like doppler and NEXRAD weather radar, the truth is, forecasting is really basic stuff and you don't need a million dollars worth of electronics and computers to do it either. Pick a few major cities to the West of you and check on their weather conditions froma few hours ago, do some simple math, and you can pretty much tell what's going to happen where you live. If a middle aged man or woman can do it, why not your little one? Although I welcome the idea of a toddler standing in front of a green screen, is this the best prize TWC can come up with? How many kids out there are putting the pressure on their parents to go to Atlanta for vacation?! When TWC first began on badic cable, all that you got was a satellite map and a weather forecast scrolling the bottom of the screen. In 2008, TWC has evolved into a spitting image of FOX News Channel where three people sit on a couch in the morning, sip coffee, tell silly jokes, and yes, talk about the weather. It's turned into a sick business and resembles The Today Show. It would be quite a hoot to see a little kid making a doodie in his pants while pointing out the next hurricane.

"Two sides to this Berlin story" and "Half a buck"

"Will that be paper, or plastic?" As we check in on what our two candidates for President have been up to, let's just say that John McCain has had a rough week. The Senator was seemingly left behind by all the media here in the U.S. whil Obama took his show to the road. The two, with all their differences aside, had agreed to visit Berlin. While McCain made the trip to Berlin, PA, Obama opted for the real deal in Berlin, Germany. You may not be an expert in politics however, as you probably know, there's a rule in television that mandates equal time for both political parties to present their views. Well, someone dropped the ball here and forgot to remind all the major news networks that McCain lost his boarding pass and got "lost" like a Gucci suitcase in an airport luggage rack. Turning lemons into lemonade, McCain wiggled his way through the busy streets of the Pennslyvania town to greet the common folk and do a little grocery shopping at the local A&P. "Americans aren't just getting taken to the cleaners at the gas station" he says, "it's no picnic shopping for the essentials either." The crowd in the store agreed as McCain was quick to point out the price decrease of approximately three cents a gallon for gas and suggested "President Bush deserves all the credit for the price drop!" Keep in mind that if you can find two extra pennies in your pocket, add that to the three cents you saved and perhaps you can stick that nickel in a gumball machine! McCain walked up and down the aisles with shoppers spreading his good cheer throughout his visit by sneaking some of his favorites like Mott's applesauce and Honey Nut Clusters of Oats into unsuspecting customers shopping carts and pulling the old, "I left my wallet in my other pants pocket" routine at the checkout counter. He did accomplish one thing however, and that was he got to meet people from other parts of the world all under one roof without going on a plane ride!

"Sorry Senator Obama... the peanuts are now $4.00 a bag and a can of Coke Classic is $3.00!" Yes, there was a time when a trip to the other side of the world on a big airline would guarantee you'd at least feast like a king with prime rib, baked potato and a tall glass of wine with baked Alaska for dessert. Obama found out the hard way that he was only wearing the President of the United States' shoes just to see how they fit and not for keeps...yet. From the Middle Eadt to Europe, Obama has been making all the important stops and meeting all the important people along the way. The people in Israel loved him despite the fact that he criticized that Jeruselum wasn't exactly how it is portrayed in The Bible. He also seemed a little confused with some more important milestones in 20th Century history while in Berlin after addressing a large crowd that was lured to see him by American propiganda promising Madonna would be there. "It is time for us to tear down this wall in Berlin!" he shouted out. Obviously forgetting that President Reagan said the same thing back in the 1980's. Nobody in the packed crowd blinked twice.

"Nothing on Taco Bell's value menu is Fifty Cents or less...except for the hot sauce" Now here's a nifty idea: Seems as though the promotions and advertising people working for Taco Bell are a day late and a dollar short when it comes to new ideas. The little doggie was killed off years ago from the commercials at the prime of the little guy's career, and then it's been sownhill from there ever since. By the way, the dog was never chpped up into hamburger meat for the Chalupa...he's living in seclusion somewhere in America reaping the benefits of his hard work. And along comes Detroit's Fifty Cents to the rescue. The famous rapper who incidentally, is most famous for being the target of "drive-bys" on the street is already bowing down to "the man" for the opportunity to pitch Vitamin Water. Yeah, Fifty Cent quenching his thirst with water is about as honest as Amy Whitehouse staying in detox for more than thirty minutes. Taco Bell made him an offer that he couldn't refuse: to promote their value menu for just one day, the gangsta rapper would change his name to 79, 89, or 99 Cent. Clever eh? He'd get paid a bunch of money for the silly ad and have to live with a silly name like that for a WHOLE day! As if his name isn't silly enough already! "It's not appropriate for my client's good name" his attorney wrote to Taco Bell execs, and the offer was quickly rejected. Once Taco Bell gave up asking for his permission, plans moved ahead to go with the promotion regardless of Fifty Cents' participation or not. Now the thug is biting back at The Bell and nipping them right where it hurts, in the wallet! It's good to know that even after all his rhymes about pimpin', dopin', and stealin' that he still does have some scruples left and his name escapes intact without a scratch.

"14 years later, IT'S HERE! Well, sort of..."

The votes are in for "Chinese Democracy" and Confuscious say, "Not too shabby"!

The Guns and Roses timeline:

• 1994 - Use Your Illusion I and II are released and Guns and Roses goes on hiatus until further notice.
• December 1994 - Lead guitarist Slash begins a long lasting feud with singer Axl Rose that would eventually lead to the bands demise.
• 1998 - A bootleg recording of a new song from a mystery group surfaces and sparks rumors that the new sound is actually Gun and Roses working with Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails. This was later debunked.
• 2001 - Rumors swirl again of a possible Guns and Roses reunion along with Slash. A performance was allegedly set to take place at an AMA or VMA show on live tv. Although several people report the group rehearsing backstage, the band never materialized on stage.
• 2002 - After years of nothing but hearsay, Axl Rose appears on VH1 Classics to say that a number of new songs are in the works along with a new album. Ironically, it was already given a title of Chinese Democracy when decoded, is actually meant tongue-in-cheeck as something that will never take place in our lifetime. Was this a real story, or was Axl screwing with us?
• 2003 - A sloppy group of studio musicians come together and surprise everyone with an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards. Though the group went by the moniker, Guns and Roses, the only familiar face was Axl Rose. A "mini tour" was announced as well as a release date for the new album. Sadly, after only a few concerts, Rose fired the current lineup and thus began several years of new release dates for the new CD.
• 2007 - In April, a final release date for Chinese Democracy is set. Axl Rose quickly changes his mind again and then says the album is on hold due to legal issues. Rumors come around again late in the year that 2008 would finally see the new album come to fruition.
• 2008 - In April of this year, Axl Rose hand deliversdemo reels to his record label to show he is serious this time. Several new tracks are on the reels and left in an office where they ended up missing. They resurface at the end of the month much to everyone's surprise, on a record company employee's blog that offers listeners a chance to hear the songs first on his website. Axl's attorneys file a "cease and decist" order to take the 5 tracks down. By this time it was too late. Hackers had already found a way to download the songs. 16 tracks remain under tight security. The album is finished, done, it's over. It sits on the shelf for now and still no release date confirmed...but hey, at least it's done.

It was on Use Your Illusion II that the song "14 Years" appeared approximately 14 years ago. Coincidence? Maybe however, the fans were taken for a long ride for a decade and a half. I never saw what all the fuss was about with this group anyway. In the late 1980's they came like wildfire and Axl Rose was placed on a pedestal as an "Icon" for whatever reason. It wasn't just the music that reeled people in, it was all about the drama. The dark history. The drugs, booze, abuse, and estranged relationships of the band that made them appealing. The run down and neglected boyhood home of Axl Rose in LaFayette, Indiana had a long line of onlookers hoping to catch a glimpse of any of Axl's relatives. The joint was turned into a shrine by fans, but later condemned.

I guess I am one of the last folks in the world to get a hold of these five songs. It took some time and was kind of risky considering where you find them online can result in your downloading a potential virus as well. Although I'm not exactly a fan, I do have all of GNR's material on CD just because I can. I figure my neutral stance would work well in reviewing what we've all been waiting to hear for all these years. I was really surprised. The music is done quite well. It's a bit of a change in sound for Axl and the band...whoever they are. If there's a radio station out there that still has rock in their arsenal, chances are you'll hear these soon, if not already. There's two possible albums with two versions of cover art. I don't know if the 21 songs will be on one disc or two either. All I know is, Axl better not drag his feet after this hits stores because they guy is flirting with 50 already. I can't imagine another 14 year buffer zone between albums with a 64 year old Axl on lead vocals. Although I was tempted to place these songs on my blog, the fact remains, Axl STILL has more money than me, and more lawyers than me. You're on your own but, it's worth the effort to look for these!

"14 years later, IT'S HERE! Well, sort of..."