"24 Hours of cursing is a good thing for the atmosphere!"

Since when did Al Gore become concert promoter? I'm talking about that silly 24 hour concert around the globe this weekend. Boy, how times have changed! In the mid 1980's, Al's wife Tipper was the person behind saying songs with nasty lyrics shouldn't be allowed to be sold...most importantly to kids. As a result, we got that "Parental Advisory" sticker. B.S.? Yes! Music or no music, profanity hovers over everyone like a swarm of angry bees. That sticker of Tipper's needs to go. For those who are involved in ANY genre of music, I say if the lyrics are that bad, let the Artists and Record Labels work together and slap a sticker on the thing...Among the performers that evening, The Police may have been the most hyped but didn't deliver. Two other acts come to mind and it made me seek out a calendar to see what year it is. First up to bat, Roger Waters of Pink Floyd fame. The group dissolved after 1982's "The Final Cut". Since then, Roger has made three albums of original material. The rest? How many bricks are in "The Wall"? Roger claims rights to the late 70's classic and now, we're going brick by brick and country to country releasing "The Wall: Live". There's about seven thus far. No more Roger! I thought there was a "Pink Floyd" reunion coming. What happened?

Here's another one that gets my goat...Garth Brooks. What the @#$% is this guys deal? Who's he trying to hoodwink? Retired and returned to work five times already. I thought Michael Jordan was wishy washy...this is NUTS! Word of advice Garth, next time you "retire", don't make it public. You're just making yourself look more and more like a jackass.

As for Gore, sure everyone enjoyed the concert BUT, what's up with the money? I thought I was watching a friggin' telethon. They said to donate "As much money as you can". Gee Al, you won an Oscar for that movie of yours and having done all that research, you should know that money won't fix anything. The hole in the ozone layer can't be plugged up with checks,money orders, and credit cards. Not only that, but am I to believe that all these entertainers flew half-way around the world for the hell of it? Someone had to foot the bill. The last person you want to represent "Live Earth" showed up. Dave Matthews. He bragged about riding his tour bus which is a diesel/ethanol hybrid. Kudos to you Dave...too bad you didn't mention the "incident" two years ago when you dumped your shitter from the bus into the Chicago River. Was that organic or full of fiber? That's about the time I switched to Aquafina for water.

Despite all that nonsense, Al Gore went against the grain with this big concert thing. As a result, He's probably sleeping on the couch for a few weeks. All sorts of shenanigans were sewn together in the end

"From 7:00 pm to 7-11...a promotion only around a dozen stores will be a part of"

You know, the release of an upcoming movie is supposed to get you anxious, riled up, and pulling out your hair in anticipation of it's opening night. It's no secret as I pointed out yesterday that weeks ahead of time, places of business try to get the whole thing kickstarted. Now, it's one thing to place a toy from Shrek in with your food order at McDonald's, but what 7-11 did is "leaps and bounds" ahead of everyone else despite the fact this is only going on in 12 Nationwide stores. I'm talking about the upcoming release of "The Simpsons" movie. After being on the air for so many years entertaining us all, going back to the early to mid 90's, creator Matt Grohenig spoke with reporters from newspapers, magazines, and television about any possibility of an animated feature length film. At that time, he suggested the possibility that somewhere down the line when ideas are running out and he gets burned out, a movie would possibly made to tie-up loose ends and close the book on a successful run. Latest I heard, "The Simpsons" aren't going anyplace at least for a few more years. It may be good, but let's not call this a "franchise" on the big screen yet. It's no "Toy Story, or Shrek". Regardless of the fact, the folks at the movie studio thought it would be a perfect match to team 7-11 and the movie together. (By the way, the only one around here is on 63rd Street in Chicago). You'll find all the signs changed to "Kwick-E-Mart" and once inside, you'll find inflatables of some of Springfield's most famous that you can pose for a picture with. No more Slurpees either...They're Squishees now and the flavor of the month is raspberry-vanilla. They've also got Krusty's Cereal and Buzz Soda. There is not however, any Duff Beer. It is available in Europe though. It sounds like a pretty good marketing gimmick but, there's a real person that was used as a model for Apu at a 7-11 in California many years ago. If this thing is a success, this guy will be showing up at FOX with his Attorneys with his hand out. They better pay him off now or the real 7-11 signs will be going up before the movie opens and this could very well be the big finish for "The Simpsons".

"Some times the leftovers are better the next day"

Here's some things that just didn't make the cut this week but found a new home here this weekend. First of all, that poor S.O.B. Bill Gates is crying into his $100 bills over all the hoopla over Apple's new iPhone. Not everyone is pleased with the new phone...it does everything you can think of. For the $600 price tag, that thing ought to come with a prostitute too...males and females both! Anyway, crowds winding around stores for three or four days nearly cased Gates a nervous breakdown. It was reported that at 1:30 AM on Saturday, Bill was stopped by a Washington State trooper. Not for drugs, alcohol, or a broken headlight. He was in fact talking on his cellphone which is illegal in the Seattle area to do while driving. To make matters worse, Gates was calling Microsoft Tech Patrol for help with some snags while using Windows Vista on his pc. One other thing: He was making the call using an iPhone...Go figure?!

Are The Transformers really money in the bank in 2007...Corporations seem to think so. Borrowing an idea from NASCAR racing, all sorts of sponsors are in line to put their name with the name of the movie. I've heard cast members go on television to hype this and they go way over the top saying, "this is the BEST movie ever." and "Roll up all six Star Wars movies into one, and it still won't come close!" Yeah, OK. This is where I put in my two cents and say, let's not put the cart before the horse. There's a list of movies that have tanked after much less hyp than this. Hmmm...How about "Shrek The Third"? Exactly. All these people want their name on a poster or commercial and pony up a lot of bucks. By Christmas, this movie won't still be showing at the Cineplex...it will have already been on DVD since the beginning of August. These places blame all their price hikes on fuel and everything else. There's no need to pay a million dollars for you to tie-in a promotion with a movie. We all know who you are! "Fuel"? My rootie pahtootie. If all these sponsors are dropped, some of your shopping worries would be over because prices would drop.

Finally, here's something you may or may not want to hear, but at least give it a shot. Bananas are returning as the filling for Hostess Twinkies to replace, or possibly sit side by side with the creme filled one at the end of your grocery aisle. When the sponge cake first made it's debut before World War II, the creamy filling was in fact banana. Because importing and exporting stopped during that time, bananas were hard to come by and cream was chosen as the replacement. Now, even though the people at Hostess surely know that World War II ended 60 years ago, it took them that long to realize that bananas are readily available in 2007. Meanwhile, the idiots over there have discontinued my favorite: A Chocodile, a twinkie dunked in chocolate because they wanted to go back to bananas...nothing some Prozac couldn't fix.

"A Tribute to Diana": Red Tape, Tight Security, and Mass Confusion!

(AP) -LONDON- That's right gang. After leaving Chicago nearly two weeks ago and landing safely hours later in London, we were finally allowed to exit the aircraft about two hours ago due to security. One thing we all discovered is that after two weeks of not being able to get out of your seat other than the toilet, the whole plane starts to smell like ass and ampits. I'm not complaining...such a thing is necessary after the car bombing incidents this past week. As they say, or William and Harry say, "The show must go on". Now, this Birthday tribute to the late Princess Diana has been in the works for two years by the pair of Prince's who were counting on the whole world to show up. Luckily, for those who chose not to make it, VH-1 offers this daylong event for free today. I'm OK with the fact that I can't make it to the concert in person. Matter of fact, I won't even watch in on cable. There's going to be a lot of monkey business going on over there that will make viewers of the concert scratch their heads. Prince Charles told his two boys that wants nothing to do with the event, and that even includes him attending. Either he's got issues or his new wife won't let him go...who knows? Secondly, if terrorist threats overshadow the concert itself, Prince William is prepared to stay home and watch it on closed circuit television while a lookalike gets swung into place. Former N'Syncer and current homosexual Lance Bass has been brushing up on his British accent and is supposedly just waiting for the phone in his London Hotel room to ring. There's still one person left should something not work out well: The secret weapon is former name, symbol and currently back to name, Prince. Tickets were printed that say Prince will be there and that's it. It may be any one of the three. Finally, fans may once again be misleading if people go there to see Fergie. In another gray area on the ticket, there's no mention of Fergie the Black Eyed Pea leaving speculation open that what you'll see will actually be Sarah Ferguson, the original Fergie who now hawks Weight Watchers and credits them for her big weight loss. Duran Duran is the headliner for the show and they plan on doing material from their most recent release, "Arena" from 1984 which includes "Union of the Snake". For up to the minute coverage, don't look here...turn on CNN or VH-1. I've got better things to do today.