"Why Dwayne Johnson needs to keep The WWE on speed dial" Final thoughts on "2009 Grammy's"

The Rock says, "Thank god I left my phone on 'vibrate mode' considering "Walking Tall 2" hasn't been discussed yet". As soon as the lame award show began last night, I knew I was in trouble. I knew going into this event that the group, "Coldplay" was supposed to be served papers by Joe Satriani's legal team because of the alleged theft of a similar riff that Joe Satriani recorded years ago. One thing I wasn't aware of was the havoc caused by R &B singer, Chris Brown. This guy is in deep "doo-doo" for supposedly assaulting a female friend. At the last

minute, Brown's attorneys advised that he not go on

stage and draw unwanted attention to his situation. The entire backstage area was in complete

chaos an hour before the show hit the airwaves because several segments with Brown had to be scrapped. Apparently, the only logical thing to do to fill ten minutes or so, was call up former WWE Superstar, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson to help save the

evening. I imagine he was called by his Agent considering his

proximity to the awards show. Dwayne is to music as Jerry Springer is to being a journalist. This "Candy ass" of a guy left the WWE a few years ba

ck to become an "Action Hero" in film. Unfortunately for him, his value has dropped in the Casting Department in Hollywood. All that's left are the "straight to DVD" m

ovies for Disney. Sorry "Rock", whoever suggested the idea of having you come out to throw stones and make a mockery of nominees was puzzling to me. You

should've just kissed Vince McMahon's ass in the first place...you still may have had a career!

• Robert Plant and Allison Krauss - Robert is showing a lot of "wear and tear" after all these years and looks a mess! All things considered, the CD by Plant and Krauss isn't all that bad. In fact, the rumors of the "on again, off again
  " reunion and album as Led Zeppelin probably wouldn't be as good as this.
• Jennifer Hudson - OK, her being there AND performing was kind of clever on someone's behalf. Just a week ago, Hudson was being chastized for lip-synching at The Super Bowl. All of a sudden, that was all forgotten when she took to th
  e stage last night. I'll give "Props" to Jennifer's singing. Anyone who makes it past Simon Cowell deserves some kind of kudos. Hudson was at an immediate advantage going into this due to the "Sympathy" factor of her family being killed. What else is a critic supposed to say about an emotional performance like that? They left that one alone and instead, focused on one of her outfits which did resemble the bib you get while dinin
  g at Red Lobster.
• U2 - I hate to say bad things about Bono. My "Catholic Guilt" prevents me from saying too much considering his friendship with world leaders and The Pope. I haven't heard any advance tracks off their upcoming March release yet other than the first single which they performed. I hope there's a little more substance on the remainder of the CD because the first single sounds like these guys infringed on their own Copyright by re-recording "Vertigo" with new lyrics. Perhaps a little hard to distinguish in a live performance however, q
  uite obvious if you hear it on the radio.

Ironically, A-Rod and his steroid use would overshadow the whole show dedicated to m

usic. Steroids and MLB? Get outta here... this stuff is still going on? When you get linked to Madonna like he is, you need steroids just to keep up!

"Pimpin' a Grammy is easy for Uncle Wally"

"Pinch me, will ya?" That's all I can say as I take a few moments away from "The Grammy's". Pardon me while I get sick... Anyone who knows my criticism of most modern music may think I'm about to take you for a ride. This is serious, folks. Two hours into this year's award show I was blindsided with a big slap to the face when I discovered that (Have mercy on my soul), "The Jonas Brothers" live performance with Stevie Wonder was ....ummm, pretty good. If these guys actually played their own instruments and sang the words "Live", I'd even go as far to say that they make something of themselves sans "Walt Disney". Having said this, I'm in no hurry to go out and purchase any of their music or silly movies. If this is one of the few options that "Blu-Ray" has to offer, I can wait another year for another price drop!

In the meantime, I firmly stand by what I said before when it comes to "The Grammy's"..Winning an award on the show is kinf of like striking gold with a Cracker Jack prize of a cheap plastic compass! The big winner thus far has been, "Coldplay". Don't even bother asking me how they got there or how they were able to win anything.

..So far, two songwriters are in the process of a copyright infringement lawsuit over a particular song. The group has since "downplayed" the incident and chooses to ignore the issue. Oh, I've heard the other songs that provided the inspir

ation for "Viva La Vida" from Joe Satriani and "The Creaking Boards". Download these and see for yourself!

The one thing I can't wait to see is a performance by the legendary, Neil Diamond. This guy is still a hip dude after all these years. If you overlook the leather boots with the zippers on the side and the big sideburns, the music is timeless. Can you say the same abo

ut Kanye West?

"Democracy fails to be nominated!"

The Fight for "The Grammy"

There's no worse luck than a "broken Axl" if you're speaking about your car or the lead singer of "Guns N' Roses". In this case, Axl Rose has a beef with the folks on the panel of picking nominees for the 2009 Grammy Awards... the latest album got snubbed and Axl won't be going home with any "Grammy" this year! I don't care what anyone says about the Thanksgiving Day release of "Chinese Democracy". It's an experimental piece of work that can be described as outtakes from an album never released 20 years ago. While it isn't a train wreck, it wasn't worth the hoopla either. Originally, nearly 25 tracks were in the works ubtil someone "swiped" the master tapes and uploaded the songs on the Internet. The years and years that passed along the way left the whole project in limbo before it finally came to fruition last year. In the end, the "GNR" lineup would change several times and the album tracks were reduced to a dozen. Lead guitarist, Slash left the band in 1991 and is obviously missing from any song credits on the latest release. Unfortunately for Axl Rose, his biggest accomplishment would be the status of yet another disgruntled member by the name of Steven Adler. We'll get to him in a minute...

"Chinese Democracy" and it's delays and controversey were not by mistake. It was a PR stunt gone bad. Axl wanted to show the world he was with the times and understood the ins and outs of the Internet. The guy that "stole the tapes" and "held them hostage" before releasing them on the Internet is more than likely a good pal of Axl who was doing what he was asked to do. After the smoke cleared and the "fun" of searching out the tracks in cyberspace ended, there was virtually no reason for anyone to shell out the cash and actually purchase the album. That's why Axl's pissed! The fact that he and Slash never worked out their problems long enough to make the current release also bothers him. Just this week, Axl was quoted as calling Slash "The weak link" and stated that the two will never speak or work together again in this lifetime. Really, I could care less. As far as I'm concerned, '87's "Appetite For Destruction" holds it's spot as a breakthrough record and ends there despite other tragedies like former drummer, Steven Adler.

Adler was part of the original lineup and mixed well with the band, especially when the concerts were over. The "GNR" party bus rolled on for a while until Adler took the partying a bit too seriously. The bands reputation for being three hours late to take the stage was a result of Adler. Even though they were set
to "self-destruct", they all agreed Adler had to go. Instead of getting better, Adler finds himself on the current season of VH1's "Sober House" and he himself, is a ticking time bomb lost in a world of dope. The irony here is that a guy as screwed up as him, turns out to be the biggest draw on a reality show about addiction. I'm not sure if people wish him success or failure however
, anyone who says they're taking sobriety seriously but yet, enters a home with pant pockets full of syringes isn't really trying too hard. I wouldn't expect to see any one of these three characters together anytime soon. There's a better chance to see John Lennon and George
Harrison rise from the ashes with Ringo and Paul. Let's face it... the "GNR" tragedy was years in the making. No "Grammy" for these guys...!

"Google stirs up even more trouble!"

Getting "Bamboozled" by "Google" again! OR "If you want my identity THAT bad, let me give you my Social Security number along with lots of luck!"

I've written about this in the past and got a few chuckles along the way however, it happened to me again today while I was out and about. Google began as a half way decent search engine on the Internet years ago and that was that...fine by me. In fact, I still use it today for it's original intended purpose as well as the main conduit to present this blog (So, you see I must be careful what I say here as my text is being monitored!). Google has taken the prophecies that George Orwell wrote about and have turned them into reality. Sure, in the beginning it was fun to take advantage of all of Google's little extra perks like their famous program, Google Earth. Here, you can plug in your neighbor's address and zoom up to peek into the picture window. While you're at it, you can get all the information you could ever imagine such as names, phone numbers, and property values. Google did all this with plenty of leg work over a few years. They actually sent college kids out in white vans to take digital photos of everything (Notice how some of the addresses you enter show the hood of the van in the photo?). An invasion of privacy? Sure. You can be like the old lady next door and know everyone on the block's business. This week, Google added yet another feature. This one is for Wi-Fi and cell phones and it all comes down to tracking down "where in the world" you are! I suspect that Waldo and his shenannigans are now out of places to hide.

This latest attempt to pry further into our lives may be a good thing for the parents with the 15 year old daughter who is currently rebelling, putting up half-naked photos of herself on MySpace and planning on stealing Mommy's MasterCard for plane tickets to another country to meet some old pervert pretending to be 15 too. As far as I'm concerned, despite the positives such as this, Google has now crossed the line into that "gray" area and meanwhile, they still can't get the easy stuff sorted together, which brings me to earlier today...

A teenager overheard me mention my name while at the doctor's office and asked me if I'm friends with Shawn White. "I don't know the guy" I said, and continued on. A few moments later it hit me that this kid was talking about the Shawn White that happens to be a professional snowboarder, has his own video game, and looks like "Carrot Top" the comedian. This wasn't the first time I've been "connected" to the guy. Matter of fact, if you Google my name you'll discover I was in the "X-Games" and have a long history in this extreme sport. Truth be told, the closest I get to snow is with the Toro snowblower. If I slip on the ice and break a bone, it's by accident and not for "the fun of it". So much for unique name! Actually, if you type in my name on Google, you'll see me connected with many types of things such as Car Salesman, Mobile Phone President, brother of "Quinn" who plays in the NFL. I've either got the same name as these people or are somehow linked to them by accident. Perhaps they are some relation way down the line?! Maybe I'll never know. The same goes for the name of this blog...type it in and this gets connected to a "hole in the wall" bar in Boston. I've never been there but yet, share the name with them. The S.O.B.'s wouldn't even send me a shirt from the place for my mentioning them! All I can say is, if you're like me and have lots of bills and misery while fearful of picking up a ringing telephone,

1. Thank the Lord above for Caller ID.
2. Realize that your name that may contain every letter in the alphabet may not be that "unique"
3. Write Google a "thank you" note if they confused you with someone with the same name who has a bigger bank account than you. Google may mix you up with someone else but, that someone else may end up stuck with your bills.