"Using a yard stick is good measure!"

Dumping the 21 and older law: "If you can slap your Benjamin Franklin on top of the bar, pull up a stool and have a beer!" A person's age is just a number, and it's a poor way to judge a person's maturity. Think about it: How many adults do you see prancing around and acting silly as well as the other way around? Six Flags and Disney don't have an age requirement to get on the roller coasters instead, they use a cardboard cutout of a person saying, "You must be above this height to ride this attraction". It's the old fashioned measuring stick that holds the fate of every little kids possibility of having a fun day at the amusement park. That's a great idea that should be put to use for everything, like the groups at battle with lawmakers in Washington hoping to get the drinking age lowered back to 18. Now, it's true that it's taken many years and a lot of red tape to raise the age to 21 in the first place but that law never took off that well. There's always some way to "beat the system" and get what you want if you really want it. Now, I've heard teenagers on television lately and others who write letters to the newspaper thinking that because they're old enough to get married and go to Iraq at 18 that they should be able to buy a six pack at the liquor store. That's a pretty good argument, but why only lower it to 18? Do like they do in Europe and if someone can reach the top of the bar and slap down a euro, they can buy whatever they want no matter how old they are. You may say this idea is nuts however, Europe doesn't have problems like we do in the United States. It should be expected that lowering age limits on entry to different places and purchase certain things will open the floodgates for a little while. Sooner or later though, everything levels off over time and when kids no longer find it a need to get a fake I.D., the excitement and challenge will wear off and the controversey will go away. High schools already have parts of the school put aside for pregnant students and some even have nurseries... What's wrong with having one wing of the school dedicated to rehab? The bottom line is, the economy can't get back on it's two feet by itself, we have to nudge it along to get it going again. This is a solution that benefits everyone from store owners to truck drivers and finally trickles down to being extra money in your pocket. It's been said that teenagers do most of their spending on leisure activities

"Texting BFF" and "Bigfoot Update"

Some people get it, and some people just don't want to get it: Texting for your support. This upcoming weekend is supposed to be filled with surprises in the world of politics. As November inches closer by the day, supporters on both sides of the political fence are waiting to finally see the selected running mates of McCain and Obama. We may know the answers to these questions as early as Friday, when Borack Obama is expected to do a campaign "first": Texting his supporters with his choice for a Vice President. The thing is, you have to be a registered Democrat and Obama supporter, and you have to find the Senator's MySpace page and have him add you to the list of his millions of friends. Hey Senator, thanks for the add and don't text me again! There's a lot of potential problems that go along with this idea. All these things sent out at once could cripple the system and shut down your provider however, the worse case scenario is that your personal information will be tied to Obama forever. That means that Sunday night you should be recieving a bundle of unwanted spam in your mailbox. Yes indeed, thanks again Obama! I don't have to worry about the possible fallout from this gimmick. I'm not registered for anything or any one political party and as a matter of fact, November can't come soon enough for me so this nonsense will finally end. Give a "Shout out" to Senator Obama for using texting in an otherwise boring campaign. He's an electronic wizard who appreciates all that Japan has given us which of course, puts him farther ahead of John McCain in that category.

McCain is computer illiterate and isn't gonna try and convince you any different. He knows enough of the basics to get by however, is more eager to pull out the old "Smith and Carona" and a stamp to send a message the old fashioned way rather than electronically. To be honest, McCain could care less about Blackberries and Apples. As far as he's concerned, these two are only good in pies. This could be a good thing for all of us. Remember how Matthew Broderick tried to fool everyone with computer know-how in Wargames? It's been said that Senator McCain's website has "Space Invaders" embedded in it so supporters can take a break and play. McCain says that's one of his favorites! It's been nearly 40 years since the game was created and the guy is just catching on! Imagine that! Nope. Keep this guy AWAY from all the computer mumbo jumbo. He doesn't understand it. It reminds me of when the Grandparents stopped by to visit one day in 1972 and saw "Pong" hooked up to the TV. The look of fright in their eyes will be with me forever. You would have thought aliens came from Mars and left the game behind by mistake. Gramps had to poke it with his cane to make sure it wouldn't explode.

Bigfoot was a big hoax! Of course we all knew that already, didn't we? Well, it's official now. The two pranksters laughed and laughed for "Punk'ng" us and just like the MTV show itself, it backfired. As it turned out, one of the gents involved in the fun had a rather prestigious job with the local police department and also convinced a couple of faux "medical experts" to spin this yarn. As a result, all are under review at their jobs and may be fired. Does it really take someone time to review a person's stupidity? None of their "concrete evidence" ever appeared until the end when the slab of ice was melted down and a gorilla suit was frozen on the inside. Try a little bit harder next time fellas!

"Bigfoot CAPTURED!, Skool Daze, and Eye to the sky"

Sasquatch finally found in redneck duo's "neck of the woods". Two drinkin' buddies get together over a six pack next to the campfire in the woods. One guy says to the other, "You wanna be rich?". The friend nods his head and grins..."You betch your ass I do!" and off went "Dumb and Dumber" to their college instructor to call a press conference and let the world know that one of history's mysteries only second to "Nessie" the Lochness Monster, has been solved. His name is Sasquatch and this person/animal/thing is said to be angry. Afterall, he's been on the run since before biblical times and he's tired. That's close to what their excuse was when they made their announcement and failed to produce any concrete evidence of Bigfoot's capture other than a leather glove (probably the "other" glove of O.J.'s) with contaminated DNA. The monster it seems, is tucked away in a secure spot deep in a mountainside near Roswell, New Mexico and just feet away from the 1947 UFO crash site where aliens are also still held. These two dopes thought someone was gonna believe them without proof? No body, no DNA, no pictures, ...no dice. Shot down again as another hoax and a poorly executed one as well. While all of America snickered at their "discovery" they DID manage to re-affirm one theory: Drinking beer on an empty stomach goes to your head a lot quicker. Enough said.

"Take your Deadbeat Dad/felon/convict to school day" in Chicago? Hard to believe someone actually thought of this idea as school gets set to kick off a new year. ABC 7 Chicago reported on this "heck of an idea" yesterday. The Rev, James Meeks and Rev. Al Sharpton have already caused a near riot with their suggestion of letting the Chicago "underprivelaged" school kids miss the beginning of school because of poor learning conditions. Hey, bussing was already tried once and ran it's course after a few years. To take these kids from the South Side and ship them up to Winnetka for eight hours a day won't solve the problem either. Thank goodness that someone else was listening except their solution isn't to worthy of being put to use either. Someone stood up yesterday and addressed the City of Chicago on a new idea to kill two birds with one stone on the subject of schooling. Since the prison system in Illinois is jam packed and 95% of Chicago kids have a father in jail or no father at all, the best thing to do is give inmates a free pass for a day so these guys can mentor a kid and scare the kid with "You'll end up just like me if you don't go to school" horror stories. The whole thing is way too crazy to believe and sends the wrong message. Is it safe to assume that a kid skipping school, failing, or dropping out will become an ID number in the prison system? Probably not. An earner of minimum wage most definitely, but not necessarily a felon. When grown men don't bother to pay for their children's child support or turn to crime or killing, this isn't a result of bad schooling or going to school in a bad neighborhood. A free pass for a day to accompany a kid to school? I suppose the temptation wouldn't exist to walk off the bus and start running. Conformity and reform are two things that go with jail, while you're in jail. Show any inmate an exit sign and he'll make a run for it no matter what. To the lazy parent "too busy" to keep on eye on the kids, the best education begins at home. Don't blame "the System". It's nobody's fault but your own!

A nice sunny day at the beach with the family? Grab a stick and some posterboard and let's protest ...for anything! Not everyone in Chicago was too content with packing a picnic lunch and enjoying the Air and Water Show. The recovering Bill Murray announced his plans to "fall off the wagon" again after leaping from a plane and asking for a drink. CSI star Gary Sinese and his band played on as aircraft whizzed by overhead and boats glided across Lake Michigan. What a pretty picture it was ..until a swarm of picket signs began swirling in the air, many of the folks eager to protest owever, not really sure what they were protesing for. Oh yeah, it seems that this show was just propaganda for Washington D.C. If you love to watch the jets flip and fling around with their silly stunts, you too can do the same thing if you join the Armed Forces. Seems that someone told someone who told someone else that the show was a recruiting tool to get the high school grads to sign up for Iraq, Afghanistan, and anyplace else. Although the group was rather small in size, they managed to heckle the passerbys and condemn the event and yes, the President too. I saw the print ads and fliers for the Air and Water Show and not once did I see Uncle Sam pointing at me and wanting me to be there. Don't we as Americans know what a good time is anymore, or must we find fault in everything? There's always gonna be one bad apple in the bushel barrel.

"To Russia With Love..."

"Dear Russkies: If you really want Georgia that bad, you can take ours!" George W. Bush may have started to pack away all his momento's from the past eight years, but he's still able to find time to "shake the tree" one last time before leaving Washington. As if an unfinished war in Iraq isn't enough as it is, the President has also left the economy in ruins and on the verge of cannibalism in order to survive. In the midst of all of this mess, Bush has also managed to act like a big police dog making sure Iran, Israel, and Russia all behave nice and get along. Things however, may be quieting down in the Republic of Georgia where Russia has agreed for the time being to back off any attempts to regain control of the Country. So it seems, the citizens in that part of the world are safe for now but, maybe not. Hey, if Russia wants "Georgia" so bad that they were going to start another war. Russkies, put your guns down and gather up all your tanks, planes, and missiles and go home! If you want THAT bad, take ours. We don't need it anyway!

Consider the United States to be like MTV's "The Real Life". All 50 of us friends, each unique, all live under one roof. We are all set in our own ways and get along with some better than others and occasionally, there's one of those "Puck's" that come along to give everyone in the house hell. Just like the roomies do on television, one day it's time to sit down and have a meeting while Georgia is busy doing something else. As everyone sits around and talks about all the good things and all of the bad behind Georgia's back, we finally have to ask Georgia, "What have you done for us lately?" We take a vote and kick the rabble rouser out the door. This is what we need to do. Think about this: Almost every big event in recent history has either started, ended, or passed through Georgia. It's kind of like the "Ellis Island" for the geographically impaired. It's true that much of what we read in the history books about Georgia has left a lifelong impact on all of us one way or another however, at the risk of starting World War III, Russia can just take it! I don't know about the rest of America but, life will still go on for me without some of Georgia's treasures of the 20th Century. The sun WILL come up tomorrow forme if Atlanta's Jeff Foxworthy is missing from the picture. He's proven that any knucklehead can do comedy with his "Redneck" humor, and anyone can host a game show like "Are you smarter than a fifth grader?". His cheesy mustache is more out of place than the new lead singer of Journey. If he were gone tomorrow, I wouldn't be looking for him on the side of a milk carton anytime soon. Another thing I can do without is peaches. Georgia IS the Peachtree State but, when you eat peaches, there's always something left over: the pits! That's something I can live without. How about "America's Team" the Atlanta Braves? Who says? The so-so baseball franchise got the moniker from former media mogul, Ted Turner who raised the team out of the ashes in the 1970's by giving a television deal on a new concept in cable tv: A Superstation. Not only could you have basic cable... now, you can have Superstation TBS and Brave's baseball anywhere you went. Even in a big baseball town like Chicago with it's two teams. Maybe this WAS America's team for a while, but who besides fans in Atlanta, can honestly say they'll forever follow the ups and downs of The Braves? Ted Turner liked the team so much and was so willing to embrace it that he eventually bought it... and sold it. Jane Fonda was more interested in using the money to further extend the property line of their Montana cattle ranch. In the end, Atlanta's wife and hometown saw through him and left him out in the cold. So, we wouldn't miss Georgia from the map. What's 49 states? One less than 50 and that's about it. Please tell Mr. Bush to save a spot on his U-Haul for "The Bulldog State".